_Silas._ Critter! critter! What critter? _Mrs. S._ O, you know well enough; and I guess you’ll find you’ve made a poor bargain this time. I always told you rum would be your ruin; and if you don’t see the poorhouse staring you in the face afore night, I’m very much mistaken. _Enter HARRY, L._ _Silas._ What on airth are yer talking about? Are yer crazy, or have yer been drinking? _Harry._ (_Comes down between them._) Hush! not a word! We must not let anybody know you are in the house! _Silas._ Hey! what ails _you_? Got a touch of the old lady’s complaint? _Harry._ Hush! Not so loud! We must be cautious. Sheriff Brown is looking for you; but I’ve put him off the scent. _Silas._ Then oblige me by putting me on it. What’s the matter? Why is the sheriff looking for me? _Harry._ Hush! Not so loud! It’s all about _him_. (_Pointing over his left shoulder._) _Silas._ Him! him! Consarn his picter! who is _him_? _Harry._ Hush! Not so loud! I’ve got him locked up in the barn. He got into the melon beds; they’re gone: then into the cucumbers; he’s pickled them all. But I’ve got him safe now. _Enter JOHNNY, L._ _Johnny._ By Jinks! the critter’s hauled the sleigh down from the rafters; broke it all to smash! _Enter SALLY, L._ _Sally._ O, mother, he’s stepped into your tub of eggs, and there ain’t a whole one left. _Mrs. S._ I told you so. O, Silas, how could you? _Silas._ Are you all crazy? Who has trampled the melons? Who has pickled the cucumbers? Who has smashed the sleigh? And who has sucked the eggs? I pause for a reply. _All._ (_In chorus._) Your elephant! _Silas._ My elephant? My elephant? Pooh! Nonsense! I don’t own any such critter. _Johnny._ Say, dad, have yer forgotten the auction yesterday--the tiger, and the monkey, and the elephant? _Silas._ What? Stop! O, my head! It must be so. Did I buy that elephant? _Harry._ He is in the barn, Mr. Somerby. _Silas._ I’m a ruined man! (_Sinks into chair L. of table._) Is he alive? _Mrs. S._ He ought to be, with half a ton of hay inside him. _Silas._ O, my hay! my hay! _Johnny._ And a barrel of turnips. _Silas._ O, ruin! ruin! _Sally._ And a whole basket of carrots. _Silas._ I’ll shoot him! I’ll shoot him! _Johnny._ That’s easier said than done, dad. Them critters die hard; and we ain’t got the cannon to bombard him with. _Harry._ Come, Johnny, let’s look after him. I’m afraid he will get into more mischief. Will you have a look at him, Mr. Somerby? _Silas._ Look at him? Never! Find me a way to get rid of him, quick! _Harry._ That’s not such an easy matter. Nobody would take the gift of him; and nobody but a fool would buy him. _Mrs. S._ That’s a fact. O, my eggs! my eggs! Eighty dozen, all ready for market! _Sally._ Law sakes! that elephant has made me forget the breakfast things. (_Clears away the table, carrying things off, L._) _Harry._ I suppose you want him to have plenty of hay?