"When I think of her," he writes, "I remember with gratitude that our
parents seldom punished us, and never, unless we went too far in our
domestic dissensions or tricks, even chided us. This, I am convinced, is
the right attitude for parents to observe, modestly to admit that nature
is wiser than they are, and to let their little ones follow, as far as
possible, the bent of their own minds, or whatever it is that they have
in place of minds. It is the attitude of the sensible hen toward her
ducklings, when she has had frequent experience of their incongruous
ways, and is satisfied that they know best what is good for them;
though, of course, their ways seem peculiar to her, and she can never
entirely sympathize with their fancy for going into the water. I need
not be told that the hen is, after all, only stepmother to her
ducklings, since I am contending that the civilized woman--the
artificial product of our self-imposed conditions--cannot have the same
relation to her offspring as the uncivilized woman really has to hers.
The comparison, therefore, holds good, the mother with us being
practically stepmother to children of another race; and if she is
sensible, and amenable to nature's teaching, she will attribute their
seemingly unsuitable ways and appetites to the right cause, and not to a
hypothetical perversity or inherent depravity of heart, about which many
authors will have spoken to her in many books:
"But though they wrote it all by rote
They did not write it right."
The very dim race memory of old tribal and even primitive life which is
in all of us is much stronger in children than in grown-ups. They are
closer to the past than their elders, and although we hear a great deal
about maternal instinct, it is probable that it is a much slighter and
more limited thing than the instinct of a young child.
I have noticed, for instance, that without any help from me H. 3rd has
learned to fall with amazing skill. He can trip over the edge of the
carpet, do a somersault ending on the point of his nose and come up
smiling, unless some grown-up makes him aware of his danger by crying
out in horror. He did not copy it from me. I have never even undertaken
to teach him by precept or illustration. The difficult trick of relaxing
in midair is his own contribution. He cannot be said to have learned it.
He seems always to have had it. At the age of eight months he pitched
headlong out of his carriage and landed on top of his head without so
much as ruffling his feelings. It may be fantastic, but I rather think
that his skill in preparing for the bump by a complete relaxation of
every muscle is a legacy from some ancestor back in the days when
knowing how to fall was of vital importance, since even the best of us
might, upon special occasions, miscalculate the distance from branch to
branch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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