Self and self-management : $b Essays about existing — John Shaqi
Self and self-management : $b Essays about existingBennett, Arnold
Philosophy
Self and self-management : $b Essays about existing
Bennett, Arnold
Conduct of life
Take--O exceptional individual!--take some concealed and blameworthy
action or series of thoughts of your own. I do not mean necessarily
murder or embezzlement; not everybody has committed murder or
embezzlement, or even desires to do so; I mean some matter--any
matter--of which you are so ashamed, or about which you are so
nervous, that you have never mentioned it to a soul. All of us--even
you--have such matters hidden beneath waistcoat or corsage. Write down
that matter; put it in black and white. The chances are that you won’t;
the chances are that you will find some excuse for not writing it down.
You may say:
‘Ah! But suppose some one happened to see it!’
To which I would reply:
‘Write it and lock it up in your safe.’
To which you may rejoin:
‘Ah! But I might lose the key of the safe and some one might find it
and open the safe. Also I might die suddenly.’
To which I would retort:
‘If you are dead you needn’t mind discovery.’
To which you might respond:
‘How do you know that if I was dead I needn’t mind discovery?’
Well, I will yield you that point, and still prove to you that your
objection to the written word does not spring from the fear of
giving yourself away. The experiment shall be performed under strict
conditions.
Empty your house of all its inhabitants save yourself. Lock the
front-door and the back-door. Go upstairs to your own room. Lock the
door of your own room. Pile furniture before the door, so that you
cannot possibly be surprised. Light a fire. Place the writing-table
near the fire. Arrange it so that at the slightest alarm of discovery
you can with a single movement thrust your writing into the fire. Then
begin to write down that of which you are ashamed. You are absolutely
safe. Nevertheless you will hesitate to write. And you will not have
got very far in your narration before you find yourself writing down
something that is not quite so unpleasant as the truth, or before you
find yourself omitting some detail which ought not to be omitted. You
will have great difficulty in forcing yourself to be utterly frank on
paper. You may fail in being utterly frank; you probably will so fail;
most people do. When you have finished and hold the document in your
hand, you will start guiltily if the newly moved furniture creaks in
front of the door. You will read through the document with discomfort
and constraint. And you will stick it in the fire and watch it burn
with a very clear feeling of relief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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