Self-Raised; Or, From the DepthsSouthworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
General
Self-Raised; Or, From the Depths
Southworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
Fiction
Her first sensation on awakening from this sleep of oblivion to the
consciousness of her altered circumstances was--not humiliation at
her own unmerited dishonor--not dread of the impending, degrading
trial--but pleasure at the recollection that she was free; that she
was away from Castle Cragg; that she would not have to meet Lord
Vincent and Faustina at breakfast; that she would never have to meet
them again.
Ah! only those who have been compelled for months to breathe the
vitiated atmosphere of guilt can appreciate the excess of Claudia's
joy at her deliverance. It was a joy that not even the distressing
circumstances that surrounded her, and the trial that awaited her,
had any power to destroy.
To one who knew her position, without being able to enter into her
feelings, it would have seemed an extravagant, an unnatural, an
insane joy. Perhaps she was a little insane; she had had enough
trouble to derange her reason.
She arose gladly. She had a motive for rising now; formerly, at
Castle Cragg, she had none, because she had nothing to do. Now she
had to order her breakfast, write to her father, and drive round to
see the old city.
She dressed herself quickly and went into the parlor. The windows
were already opened, the fire lighted, and the breakfast table was
laid.
She went to the windows and looked out. The morning was clear and
bright. It seemed to her that even Nature sympathized in her
deliverance. The winter sun shone down brightly upon Scott's
monument, that stood within its inclosure in the middle of the space
before her windows. Yes, she was pleased with her quarters.
She rang the bell and ordered breakfast, which was quickly served.
When she had finished her morning meal and sent the service away,
she got her writing-case from her trunk and sat down to write to her
father and give him a detailed account of her misfortunes.
But she found a difficulty in arranging her thoughts; her mind was
in too excitable a condition to admit of close application. She
commenced, and discarded letter after letter.
Finally, she gave up trying to write for the present. There was time
enough; the foreign mail, as she had ascertained, did not close
until six o'clock in the evening. She thought a drive through the
old city would work off her excitement and tranquilize her nerves.
She rang and ordered a fly, and drove out.
First she went to Holyrood, and soon lost all consciousness of her
own present and individual troubles in dreaming of all those
princes, heroes, and beauties of history who had lived and sinned or
suffered within those old palace walls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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