Sex and Common-SenseRoyden, A. Maude (Agnes Maude)
Philosophy
Sex and Common-Sense
Royden, A. Maude (Agnes Maude)
Marriage; Sex; Sexual ethics
however much he may regret and hate them. It will be in vain that laws are
devised to prevent divorce by collusion, in vain that King's proctors
or judges detect and penalize here and there the less wary and ingenious
offenders. The law will continue to be evaded or defied. And the reason is
fundamental: it is that the law is not based on reality. It affirms that a
marriage still exists when it does _not_ exist. It demands that two human
beings should give to each other what they cannot give. And--the essence
of marriage being consent--it makes the fact that both parties desire its
dissolution the final reason for denying them! To force a woman to demand
the "restitution of conjugal rights" when such "rights" have become a
horrible wrong; to compel a man to commit, or perjure himself by pretending
he has committed, adultery, before he can get the State to face the fact
that his marriage is no longer a reality--is this to uphold morality? Is
this the ideal of the Sermon on the Mount? Let us once for all abandon
the pretence that _all_ the marriages made in churches or in registrars'
offices are, therefore, necessarily made in heaven. Let us get to work
instead to see that the marriages of the future shall be made in heaven,
and, above all, let us abolish the idea that a marriage is a real marriage
which is based on ignorance, on fraud, on exploitation, on selfishness. Let
us not dream that we can raise our standard of morals, by affirming that
every mistake that men and women make in a matter in which mistaking is
so tragically easy ought to imprison them in a lie for the rest of their
lives. But let us take the ideal of Christ, in all its grandeur and all
its reality, with our eyes fixed upon the ideal, but with that respect
for human personality, that respect for reality and truth, which makes us
refuse to accept the pretence that all the marriages we have known have
been made by God. Let us, at least, in perpetuating such blasphemies as
are some of the marriages on which we have seen the blessing of the Church
invoked, cease to drag in the name of Christ to the defence of a system
which has laid all its weight upon a legal contract, and kept a conspiracy
of silence about the sacred union of body and soul by which God makes man
and woman one.
VI
A PLEA FOR LIGHT
Jesus said: "If any man walk in the day, he stumbleth not,
because he seeth the light of this world. But if a man walk in
the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in him."
My last address for the present[C] on the difficult questions that we have
been considering here, Sunday after Sunday, is a plea for light.
[Footnote C: Another address was added a few weeks later in response to
urgent requests.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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