Sex and Common-SenseRoyden, A. Maude (Agnes Maude)
Philosophy
Sex and Common-Sense
Royden, A. Maude (Agnes Maude)
Marriage; Sex; Sexual ethics
"Walking in darkness" has been, in sexual matters, the experience of most
of us. Even now, in the twentieth century, it is not too much to say that
most of us have had to fight our battle in almost complete darkness and
something very near to complete isolation.
There are two great passions connected with the bodies of men and women,
so fundamental that they have moulded the histories of nations and the
development of the human race. They are the hunger for food and the
instinct of sex. There is no other passion connected with our bodies so
fundamental, so powerful, as these two; and yet, with regard to the second,
most of us are expected to manage our lives and to grow up into maturity
without any real knowledge at all, and with such advice as we get wrapped
up in a jargon that we do not understand. We have been as those who set out
to sea without a chart; as soldiers who fight a campaign without a map. I
do not think this is too much to say of the way in which a large number of
the men and women that I know--even those of this generation--have been
expected to tackle one of the greatest problems that the human race has
to solve.
May I sketch what I imagine is the experience of most people? At some point
in our lives we begin to be curious; we ask a question; we are met with a
jest or a lie, or with a rebuke, or with some evasion that conveys to
us, quite successfully, that we ought not to have asked the question. The
question generally has to do with the matter of birth--the birth of babies,
or kittens, or chickens; some point of curiosity connected with the birth
of young creatures is generally the first thing that awakens our interest.
When we meet with evasion, lies, or reproof, we naturally conclude that
there is something about the birth of life into the world that we ought not
to know, and since it is apparently wrong of us even to wish to know it,
it is presumably disgusting. We seek to learn from other and more grimy
sources what our parents might have told us, and, learning, arrive at the
conclusion that in the relations of men and women there is also something
that is repulsive. And since, in spite of this, our interest does not cease
but becomes furtive curiosity, we also conclude that there is something
depraved and disgusting about ourselves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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