[_Stops in front of him._] Is it love or hate? Sometimes I hate
her—sometimes she is coarse to me, obstinate and vain, soulless as a
drab, sometimes [_Puts his hands to his face._] the rose of women.
[_Throws himself in a seat._] I pass my time in waiting for her,
thinking of her: I am degraded into a brute-desire. She writes, “I will
be with you in an hour,” that is three hours agone; she is not here yet,
and may not come to-day; damn her!
JONSON:
Why don’t you work; put her out of mind: forget her?
SHAKESPEARE:
Forget! work! That is the worst of her, she kills my work, and yet she
quickens life in me. When we sacrifice ourselves for some one, Ben; when
we give too much; we grow to hate her! ... Is it not shameful of her to
tease me so? [_Goes to window again and looks out._] The slut! [_Sits
down again._]
JONSON:
They say a man gets the woman he merits. I have a shrew, a scold,
constant and jealous like the itch; you a wanton, mad with pride. Yet we
could be free if we would; we are afraid to hurt them, Will; that’s
it—afraid. What fools men are!
SHAKESPEARE:
[_Starting up._] I wish she were here, I’d hurt her——
JONSON:
Hark; she comes! I’ll not spoil sport.
[_Exit by door_, L.
SCENE II.
[_Some one knocks at door_, C.; _Miss Fitton enters dressed in a man’s
cloak and hat._]
MISS FITTON:
Am I late?
SHAKESPEARE:
Late! I have been here for hours, walking up and down like a beast in a
cage, listening for the step that never comes. When Hope has died and
the ashes are cold, you come.
MISS FITTON:
Perhaps I should not have come: would that have been better?
SHAKESPEARE:
I don’t know: I am worn out with waiting.
MISS FITTON:
[_Half turning to door._] I can go.
SHAKESPEARE:
You fiend! [_Goes to her and takes her head in his hands, holds it back,
and kisses her on the lips again and again._] Kiss me! Put your arms
round me. Ah! [_Takes a long breath._] What a wretch you are! I was
afraid you had forgotten altogether and would not come!
MISS FITTON:
It was hard to come. [_Throws open her cloak, shows her dress._] See, I
was on duty. Jane Wroth was ill: I had to take her place: as soon as I
was free I threw on this cloak and hat and came. I didn’t wait even to
tire myself: [_Pats her hair._] I must be hideous.
SHAKESPEARE:
You were to have come on Monday and didn’t come: for hours I walked to
and fro outside the Court—madness and I—a pretty pair—you would do well
to fear us. But now—take off that hat and cloak.
MISS FITTON:
[_Takes off the hat; takes up a hand-glass and looks at herself; lays it
down._] I must be gone soon.
SHAKESPEARE:
What? You are but come, and already speak of going. Come, then.
[_Puts his arm around her and draws her towards the inner door, that,
when open, shows a bedroom._]
MISS FITTON:
No, no; time fleets. I must go soon: it is impossible. Let us talk here.
SHAKESPEARE:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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