The thought came to Paula--to be questioned afterward--that man's evil,
after all, is rudimentary compared to a worldly woman's; man's soul not
so complicated, nor so irrevocably identified with his sensual organism.
She could not avoid pondering miserably upon woman's innate love for far
ventures into sensation, permitting these ventures to be called (if the
world would) searches for the holy grail. The inevitable attraction for
women which specialists of the body possess, actually startled her.
Bellingham was one of these. On the surface of all his sayings, and all
comment about him, was the bland, deadly insinuation that the soul
expands in the pursuit of bodily health. About his name was the mystery
of his age, whispers of his physical perfection, intimations of romantic
affairs, the suggestion of his miraculous performances upon the
emotions--the whole gamut of activities designed to make him the instant
aversion of any normal member of his own sex. Yet the flock of females
had settled about him, as they have settled about every black human
plague--and glorious messiah--since the birth of days.
The thrilled, expectant look on several faces brought to Paula's mind
the type of her sisters who relish being shocked; whose exaltations are
patently those of emotional contact; who call physical excitement the
glorifying of their spirit, and cannot be persuaded to confess
otherwise. Woman as a negation for man to play upon never distressed her
before with such direct and certain pressure. Here were women intent
upon encountering a new sensation; women who devoutly breathed the name
of Motherhood next to Godhood, and yet endured their pregnancy with
organic rebellion and mental loathing; women who could not conceive of
love apart from the embrace of man, and who imagine a "message" in
deformed and salacious novels, making such books popular; women of
gold-leaf culture whose modesty fastens with a bow--narrow temples of
infinite receptivity....
Why had they come? In the perfect feminine system of information, the
whisper had run: "Bellingham is wonderful. Bellingham tells you how to
live forever. Bellingham teaches the renewal of self and has esoteric
classes--_for the few_!" They had the sanction of one another. There was
no scandal in being there openly, nor any instinct, apparently, to warn
them that secret classes to discover how to live forever, had upon the
surface no very tonic flavor. The digest of the whole matter was that
revelations sooner or later would be made to a certain few, and that
these revelations, which would be as fine oil upon the mental surfaces
of many women near her, would act as acid upon the male mind generally.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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