Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
Remembering the scurvy way in which I had been treated by the party, I
felt strongly tempted to give them a piece of my mind on the other side
of the question; but I thought of my buried treasure, and conceiving
it unwise to begin the quarrel at that time, I made them no answer,
but sat down in a corner, where I hoped to escape observation. Here I
employed myself conning over the prayer backwards, until I was assured
I was perfect in the exercise.
I then--still keeping aloof from the company--gave my mind up to a
consideration of what I should do when I had transferred Captain Kid's
hoards of gold from the coffin to my house.
The first thing I resolved to do was to pay my debts, which, how
greatly soever they oppressed me, were not actually very fearful in
amount; after which I was determined to rebuild my house, restore my
fields to their original condition, and go to law with Mr. Aikin Jones,
who I had no doubt had cheated me out of my property. It did not occur
to me that, by such a step, I should get rid of my second fortune
as expeditiously as I had the first; all that I thought on was the
satisfaction of having my revenge on the villain, whom I should have
punished in perhaps a more summary way, had it not been for my respect
for the laws, and my being naturally a peaceable man. But I did not
think long of Mr. Jones; the idea of the great wealth I was soon to
possess filled my mind, and I gave myself up to the most transporting
reveries.
From these I was roused by hearing some one near me pronounce the words
"_Captain Kid's money_"--the idea that was uppermost in my own mind;
and looking round in a kind of perturbation, I saw a knot of people
surrounding Feuerteufel, the German doctor, one of whom was discoursing
on the subject of the treasure in the Owl-roost, and avowing his
belief that he--that is, the German doctor--was conjuring after it;
an imputation that gained great credit with the company, there being
no other way to account for his visit to our village, and his constant
perambulations through the woods and marshes in the neighbourhood of
the Owl-roost.
The German doctor, to my great relief, replied to this charge by
expanding his jaws as if he would have swallowed the speaker, though he
was guilty of nothing beyond a laugh, which was in depth and quality
of tone as if an empty hogshead had indulged in the same diversion.
His voice was indeed prodigiously deep and hollow, and even his laugh
had something in it solemn and lugubrious. "Mine friends," said he, in
very bad English, "I fos can do men' creat t'ings; put I can no find no
Captain Kitt's money not at all. I toes neffer looks for coldt, except
in places fare Gott puts it; t'at iss, in t'a coldt-mines!" With that,
he laughed again, and looking upon the people about him with great
contempt, he walked up stairs to his chamber--for he lodged in the inn.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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