Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
I was entirely overcome with horror at my unfortunate condition; and
seeing that I was myself unable to render myself any assistance, I ran,
upon an impulse of instinct, to the nearest quarter where it was to be
obtained. This was at the cottage, or little farmhouse, which I spoke
of before as standing on the by-road, a little beyond the old church.
It was occupied by a man named Turnbuckle, whom I knew very well, and
who was a very industrious, honest man, although a tenant of Mr. Aikin
Jones.
I arrived at his house in an amazingly short space of time, rather
flying, as it seemed to me, through the air, than running over the
marsh and up the rugged hill. It was the gray of the morning, when I
reached his house, and the family was just stirring within. As I ran
towards the door, his dogs, of which he had a goodly number, as is
common with poor men, set up a dismal howling, clapped their tails
between their legs, and sneaked off among the bushes; a thing that
surprised me much, for they were usually very savage of temper. I
called to Turnbuckle by name, and that in a voice so piteous that, in
half a minute, he and his eldest son came tumbling out of the house
in the greatest haste and wonder. No sooner, however, had they cast
eyes on me, than they uttered fearful cries; the old man fell flat on
his face, as if in a fit, and the son ran back into the house, as if
frightened out of his senses.
"Help me, Thomas Turnbuckle," said I; "I am lying dead under the
beech-tree in the hollow: come along and give me help."
But the old man only answered by groaning and crying; and at that
moment the door opened, and his eldest son appeared with a gun, which
he fired at me, to my inexpressible terror.
But if I was frightened at this, how much more was I horrified when the
old man, leaping up at the discharge, roared out, "O Lord! a ghost! a
ghost!" and ran into the house.
I perceived it all in a moment: the howling of the dogs, which they
still kept up from among the bushes,--the fear of Turnbuckle and
his family, all of whom, old and young, male and female, were now
squeaking in the house, as if Old Nick had got among them,--my being
in two places together, and a thousand other circumstances that now
occurred to me, apprized me of the dreadful fact, which I had not
before suspected: I was a dead man!--my body lay in the marsh under the
beech-tree, and it was my spirit that was wandering about in search of
assistance!
As this terrible idea flashed across my mind, and I saw that I was a
ghost, I was as much frightened as the Turnbuckles had been, and I took
to my heels to fly from myself, until I recollected myself a little,
and thought of the absurdity of such a proceeding. But even this fatal
conception did not remove my anxiety in relation to my poor body,--or
_myself_, as I could not help regarding my body; and I ran back to the
beech-tree in a kind of distraction, hoping I might have been revived
and resuscitated in my absence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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