Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
I recovered in some confusion of mind, and did not for a moment notice
that I was moving away from the place of my disaster; but I perceived
there was something strange in my feelings and sensations. I felt
exceedingly light and buoyant, as if a load had been taken, not merely
from my mind, but from my body; it seemed to me as if I had the power
of moving whither I would without exertion, and I fancied that I swept
along without putting my feet to the ground. Nay, I had a notion that
I was passing among shrubs and bushes, without experiencing from them
any hinderance to my progress whatever. I felt no pain in my foot,
which I had hit such a violent blow, and none in my hands, that had
been wofully blistered by my work; nor had I the slightest feeling of
weariness or fatigue. On the whole, my sensations were highly novel and
agreeable; but before I had time to analyze them, or to wonder at the
change, I remembered that I was wandering away from the buried treasure.
I returned to the spot, but only to be riveted to the earth in
astonishment. I saw, stretched on the grass, just on the verge of the
pit, the dead body of a man; but what was my horror, when, perusing the
ashy features in the light of the moon, I perceived my own countenance!
It was no illusion; it was _my_ face, _my_ figure, and dressed in _my_
clothes; and the whole presented the appearance of perfect death.
The sight was as bewildering as it was shocking; and the whole state
of things was not more terrifying than inexplicable. _There_ I lay on
the ground, stiff and lifeless; and _here_ I stood on my feet, alive,
and surveying my own corpse, stretched before me. But I forgot my
extraordinary duality in my concern for myself--that is to say, for
that part of me, that _eidolon_, or representative, or duplicate of me,
that was stretched on the grass, I stooped down to raise the figure
from the earth, in an instinctive desire to give myself aid, but in
vain; I could not lift the body; it did not seem to me that I could
even _touch it_,--my fingers, strive as I might, I could not bring into
contact with it.
My condition, or _conditions_ (for I was no longer of the singular
number) at this time, can be understood only by comparing my confusion
of senses and sensations to that which occurs in a dream, when one
beholds himself dead, surveys his body, and philosophizes or laments,
and is, all the time, to all intents and purposes, without being
surprised at it, _two persons_, one of which lives and observes, while
the other is wholly defunct. Thus I was, or appeared to be, without
bestowing any reflection upon such an extraordinary circumstance, or
being even conscious of it, two persons; in one of which I lived, but
forgot my existence, while trembling at the death that had overcome
me in the other. My true situation I did not yet comprehend, nor
even dream of; though it soon turned out to be natural enough, and I
understood it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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