Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
General
Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
As for me--that is, I. D. Dawkins--being lugged into the tavern, along
with my late tenement, the body of John H. Higginson, I was fallen
foul of by all hands; and what with tweaking my nose, beating my arms,
scorching my legs with hot bricks, flaying me with salt, whiskey,
spirits, and such things, and filling my lungs with dust and ashes
from an old fire-bellows, I was brought to life again, greatly to
the triumph of my tormentors, before the appearance of a physician;
who, however, subsequently assured me they had revived me with such
effect as to give him double trouble to keep me in the land of the
living afterward; for it seems, after being more dead than alive all
that night, I had remained in a kind of stupor all the following day,
from which I awoke on the second morning, well enough, as the doctor
prognosticated I would be, but only after I had remained more than
thirty-six hours in a state of insensibility.
As for my body--that is, Higginson's--it had the honour, after being
cogitated over by the coroner, of riding home in my splendid barouche,
with the thousand-dollar hourses; but whether my wife went with it or
not, I never cared to inquire. It was enough she was gone; and oh,
rapture of raptures! gone for ever.
My friend Tickle illuminated me as to other matters, especially in
relation to the fair Miss Smith; with whom, it seems (and I recollected
all about it when he had set my new associations properly to work), I
had been quite particular, until he himself discovered the insolvency
of her father's estate; when (and this I began to recollect in the same
manner) I instantly turned my attentions upon another--the fair Miss
Small--who jilted me. These things, I say, I soon began to recall to
mind, as well as many other incidents in the past life of I. Dulmer
Dawkins; and, indeed, in the course of a few days, I was as much at
home in his body, and among his affairs, as he had ever been himself.
But of this anon. I learned that Mr. Periwinkle Smith, after seeing
me lodged in the tavern, had driven off to town to engage medical
assistance; and this he did so effectually, that I had no less than
seven doctors at one time to send me their bills; which was a very
foolish thing of them.
Of these things, I say, I discoursed with my friend Jack Tickle,
whose conversation, together with the happy consciousness I had of my
transformation, infused inexpressible vivacity into my spirits. I was
marvellously pleased at the idea of being a fine young fellow, with the
freedom of chip-chop society; and I was impatient to return to the city
to enjoy my happiness.
"Bravo!" said Jack; "we'll walk in together. But do you know, Dawky," he
went on, nodding and winking, "that this is a cursed no-credit place,
and that the man below betrayed a certain vulgar anxiety about scot and
lot, and the extra expenses you had put him to? What do you say about
paying?"
"Really," said I, clapping my hands into my pockets, "I have forgotten
my pocketbook!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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