Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
General
Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
It was astonishing (and to none more than myself) to witness the
suddenness with which I was exalted from obscurity to distinction, and
the readiness with which every living soul, upon being told my name,
character, and reputation, remembered all about me and my misdeeds.
"Yes," cried one worthy personage, shaking at me a fist minus two
fingers and a half, "I have heerd of him often enough: he lives in
New-York, and he sells sendary pictures, packed up between the soles
of niggur shoes."--"Yes!" cried another, who had but one eye, "I have
read all about him: he lives in Boston, keeps a niggur school, and
prints sendary papers, a hundred thousand at a time, to set niggurs
insurrecting." In short, they remembered not only all that the unworthy
Joshua told them to my disparagement, but a thousand things that the
imagination of one suggested to the credulity of another. It was in
vain that I endeavoured to say any thing in denial or defence; ridicule
and revilement, threats and execrations, were my only answers. It
was clear, that by the time we reached the Mississippi, I should be
the most important personage in America; and that, if my value as an
article of merchandise was to be determined by the distinction I won on
the road, my friends, Joshua and Samuel, would make their fortunes by
the speculation. But it was not my fate to travel beyond the bounds of
the Ancient Dominion.
It happened, that on this day an election was held in the district
through which we were travelling, to return a representative to
Congress, in lieu of one who had fought his way into the shoes of a
_chargé_. All the world--that is, all the district--was therefore in
arms; and men and boys, Americans and Irishmen, were making their way
to the polls as fast and comfortably as two-mile-an-hour hard-trotting
horses could carry them; and thither also, as it appeared, or in that
direction, we were ourselves bending our course. As we advanced,
therefore, we found ourselves gliding into a current of human
bodies--honest republicans, moving onward to the polls, all of whom
were ready to add their approval to my claims, or those the kidnappers
made for me, to the honour of Lynchdom. The word was passed from one
to another, that the Yankee cart contained the famous abolitionist,
Zachariah Longstraw; they pressed around to look at and revile me, to
discourse with the kidnappers on my demerits, and to express their
delight that such a renowned member of the incendiary gang, as they
called that class of conscientious people, should at last be on the
road to justice.
And thus I was rolled along, attended by sundry groups, which grew fast
into crowds, consisting of persons who rejoiced over my capture, and
painted to my ears, in words uncommonly rough and ferocious, the fate
that awaited me when arrived at my place of destination.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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