Say, when it comes to gettin' himself tangled up in ways that nobody ever thought of before, you can play Pinckney clear across the board. But I never knew him to send out such a hard breathin' hurry call as the one I got the other day. It come first thing in the mornin' too, just about the time Pinckney used to be tearin' off the second coupon from the slumber card. I hadn't more'n got inside the Studio door before Swifty Joe says: "Pinckney's been tryin' to get you on the wire." "Gee!" says I, "he's stayin' up late last night! Did he leave the number?" He had, and it was a sixty-cent long distance call; so the first play I makes when I rings up is to reverse the charge. "That you, Shorty?" says he. "Then for goodness' sake come up here on the next train! Will you?" "House afire, bone in your throat, or what?" says I. "It's those twins," says he. "Bad as that?" says I. "Then I'll come." Wa'n't I tellin' you about the pair of mated orphans that was shipped over to him unexpected; and how Miss Gertie, the Western blush rose that was on the steamer with 'em, helps him out? Well, the last I hears, Pinckney is gone on Miss Gertie and gettin' farther from sight every minute. He's planned it out to have the knot tied right away, hire a furnished cottage for the summer, and put in the honeymoon gettin' acquainted with the ready made family that they starts in with. Great scheme! Suits Pinckney right down to the ground, because it's different. He begins by accumulatin' a pair of twins, next he finds a girl and then he thinks about gettin' married. By the way he talked, I thought it was all settled; but hearin' this whoop for help I suspicioned there must be some hitch. There wa'n't any carnation in his buttonhole when he meets me at the station; he hasn't shaved since the day before; and there's trouble tracks on his brow. "Can't you stand married life better'n this?" says I. "Married!" says he. "No such luck. I never expect to be married, Shorty; I'm not fit." "Is this a decision that was handed you, or was it somethin' you found out for yourself?" says I. "It's my own discovery," says he. "Then there's hope," says I. "So the twins have been gettin' you worried, eh? Where's Miss Gertie?" That gives Pinckney the hard luck cue, and while we jogs along towards his new place in the tub cart he tells me all about what's been happenin'. First off he owns up that he's queered his good start with Miss Gertie by bein' in such a rush to flash the solitaire spark on her. She ain't used to Pinckney's jumpy ways. They hadn't been acquainted much more'n a week, and he hadn't gone through any of the prelim's, when he ups and asks her what day it will be and whether she chooses church or parsonage. Course she shies at that, and the next thing Pinckney knows she's taken a train West, leavin' him with the twins on his hands, and a nice little note sayin' that while she appreciates the honour she's afraid he won't do.