Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
The picture didn't r'ile him a bit. He sat there lookin' at it for a
good five minutes without sayin' a word, them buttermilk eyes just
starin', kind of blank and dazed. Then he looks up, as pleased as a
kid, and says, "Wall, I'll be cussed! Mighty slick, ain't it?"
Next he hollers for Reney--that was Mrs. Merrity. She was a good
sized, able bodied wild rose, Reney was; not such a bad looker, but a
little shy on style. A calico wrapper with the sleeves rolled up, a
lot of crinkly brown hair wavin' down her back, and an old pair of
carpet slippers on her feet, was Reney's mornin' costume. I shouldn't
wonder but what it did for afternoon and evenin' as well.
Mrs. Merrity was more tickled with the picture than Hank. She stared
from the paper to him and back again, actin' like she thought Hank had
done somethin' she ought to be proud of, but couldn't exactly place.
"Sho, Hank!" says she. "I wisht they'd waited until you'd put on your
Sunday shirt and slicked up a little."
He was a real torrid proposition when he did slick up. I saw him do it
once, a couple of nights before I broke trainin', when they was goin'
to have a dance up to the ranch. His idea of makin' a swell toilet was
to take a hunk of sheep tallow and grease his boots clear to the tops.
Then he ducks his head into the horse trough and polishes the back of
his neck with a bar of yellow soap. Next he dries himself off on a
meal sack, uses half a bottle of scented hair oil on his Buffalo Bill
thatch, pulls on a striped gingham shirt, ties a red silk handkerchief
around his throat, and he's ready to receive comp'ny. I didn't see
Mrs. Merrity after she got herself fixed for the ball; but Hank told me
she was goin' to wear a shirt waist that she'd sent clear to Kansas
City for.
Oh, we got real chummy before I left. He came down to see me off the
day I started for Denver, and while we was waitin' for the train he
told me the story of his life: How he'd been rustlin' for himself ever
since he'd graduated from an orphan asylum in Illinois; the different
things he'd worked at before he learned the cow business; and how, when
he'd first met Reney slingin' crockery in a railroad restaurant, and
married her on sight, they'd started out with a cash capital of one
five-dollar bill and thirty-eight cents in change, to make their
fortune. Then he told me how many steers and yearlings he owned, and
how much grazin' land he'd got inside of wire.
"That's doin' middlin' well, ain't it?" says he.
Come to figure up, it was, and I told him I didn't see why he wa'n't in
a fair way to find himself cuttin' into the grape some day.
"It all depends on the Jayhawker," says he. "I've got a third int'rest
in that. Course, I ain't hollerin' a lot about it yet, for it ain't
much more'n a hole in the ground; but if they ever strike the yellow
there maybe we'll come on and take a look at New York."
"It's worth it," says I. "Hunt me up when you do."
"I shore will," says Hank. "Good luck!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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