Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
Generally speaking, the first part of the night, however bad
the outside noises, was not so fearful as the second part.
Mostly the second portion of the night was preceded by a bad
dream in which Michael’s nerves were so much shaken that he had
no courage or common-sense left to grapple with the long hours
in the ghastly stillness of his room. There was one dream in
particular which he dreaded, and indeed it was the only one
that repeated itself at regular intervals without any essential
change. He would find himself alone in a long street in the
middle of the night. Usually it would be shining with wet, but
sometimes it would be dry and airless. This street stretched as
far as one could see. It had on either side lamp-posts which
burned with a steady staring illumination, long rows of
lamp-posts that converged in the farthest distance. The houses
all seemed empty, yet everyone was in some way a malignant
personality. Down this street Michael would have to walk on and
on. He would meet nobody, and the only living thing was a bony
hound that pattered behind him at whatever pace he went,
whether he ran or whether he loitered. He would in his dream be
filled with a desire to enter one of these houses, and often he
would mount the steps and knock a summons on the door—a knock
that echoed all over the gloom within. While he knocked, the
bony hound would howl in the shadows of the basement. Every
house at which he knocked Michael would be more and more
anxious to pass, more and more fearful to disturb. Yet however
much he struggled against it, he would ultimately be compelled
to knock his loud challenge. The street would now stretch for
miles of lighted lamps before
and behind him, and the knowledge would gradually be borne in
upon Michael that sooner or later in one of these grey houses
the door would open. He would hurry along, but however fast he
travelled some house would draw him inexorably to its
threshold, and he would wait in agony lest slowly the great
door should swing back to a dim hall. The climax of the dream
would now be reached. One house would simultaneously repel and
draw him more than any of those left behind. He would struggle
to go by, but he would find himself on the steps with legs
that refused to carry him away. He would knock: very slowly
the door would swing back and, convulsed and choking and
warding off horror, Michael would wake in a frenzy of fear to
his own real house of ghastly stillness, where no longer did
even a belated luggage-train or jingling hansom assure him of
life’s continuity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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