Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
Michael made up his mind suddenly, and as it seemed to him at the
moment in possession of perfect calm and clarity of judgment, that he
would marry Lily. He had accepted marriage as a law of his society.
Well, then that law should be kept. He would test every article of the
creed of an English gentleman. He would try in the fire of his purpose
honor, pride, courtesy, and humility. All these must come to his aid,
if he were going to marry a whore. Let him stab himself with the word.
Let him not blind himself with euphemisms. His friends would have no
euphemisms for Lily. How Lonsdale had laughed at the idea of marrying
Queenie Molyneux, and she might have been called an actress. How
everybody would despise his folly. There would not be one friend who
would understand. Least of all would his mother understand. It was a
hard thing to do; and yet it would be comparatively easy, if he could
be granted the grace of faith to sustain him. Principles were rather
barren things to support the soul in a fight with convention.
Principles of honor when so very personal were apt to crumple in the
blast of society’s principles all fiercely kindled against him. Just
now he had thought of the thankfulness he owed to God. Was it more than
a figure of speech, an exaggerative personification under great emotion
of what most people would call chance? At any rate, here was God in a
cynical mood, and the divine justice of this retributive situation
seemed to hint at something beyond mere luck. And if principles were
strong enough to sustain him to the onset, faith might fire him to the
coronation of his self-effacement. He made up his mind clearly and
calmly to marry Lily, and then he quickly fell into sleep, where as if
to hearten him he saw her slim and lovely, herself again, treading for
his dreams the ways of night like a gazelle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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