Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 2/3Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
General
Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 2/3
Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
English fiction -- 19th century
theatres to learn all sorts of wickedness, why, he and Honor had better
come to an understanding. It was an awful threat, certainly, but one
which, perhaps unfortunately for Honor, was never carried into
execution. I say unfortunately, for at that time a little _stir_, even
the commonplace stir of an actual scolding, would have done Honor good.
She was suffering from the natural consequences of reaction after an
excitement which had told heavily on her nervous system. Now, neither
John nor his mother understood anything about nerves. They had heard of
such things, to be sure, but they had about as much faith in their
actual existence as they had in that of the king of the cannibals, or
the great sea-serpent himself. Had Honor, however, been questioned on
the subject of her _malaise_, she would have found it no easy matter to
account for her sensations. She felt wearied, listless, and depressed.
There was no actual wearying in her mind for change, and yet there was
within her a latent conviction that _only_ in change would she find
comfort and improvement.
How heavily hung at that trying period of this young woman’s life the
time that God had given her to improve, she alone could tell. If
_they_--her husband and her husband’s mother--would only have talked to
her about the late transactions, all might have been better. There are
seasons when there is a positive craving after conversation on _self_--a
craving which is in itself a token of an unhealthy and morbid condition
of mind; and Honor Beacham, seated dejectedly at her work during those
long summer evenings--evenings whose silence oppressed her like the
lowering of a heavy thunder-cloud--would have been thankful for any
discussion that might break the dull monotony of that weary time.
If Honor believed that lack of interest in her concerns was at the
bottom of this reserve, she was greatly mistaken. She would, perhaps,
have found it hard to imagine that an innate delicacy was the cause of
this singular _retenue;_ yet so in fact it was. On John Beacham’s side
especially, there existed a very natural shrinking from to any allusion
to the past. The blow struck by him in a moment of wild and unpardonable
passion was ever present to him as an offence alike against the laws of
God and the enactments of man. Had Honor not been, unfortunately, deeply
interested in the victim of his ungovernable fury, John would still have
felt considerable repugnance to speaking of the man whom he had wounded.
But things standing as they were, and, above all, with Honor looking so
changed, so quiet, so _grand_, as Mrs. Beacham was once heard to say of
her, what wonder that honest John, far from coming to what he called an
“understanding” with the wife of his bosom, should, by his
hourly-increasing reserve, have opened the gulf between them, which day
by day grew wider and more difficult to leap over?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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