This conversation took place at Dover, when he went down to give her the
money for which, at Mr. Morrish’s bank, he had exchanged the cheque she
had left with him. That cheque, or rather certain things it represented,
had made somehow all the difference in their relations. The difference
was huge, and Baron could think of nothing but this confirmed vision of
their being able to work fruitfully together that would account for so
rapid a change. She didn’t talk of impossibilities now—she didn’t seem
to want to stop him off; only when, the day following his arrival at
Dover with the fifty pounds (he had after all to agree to share them with
her—he couldn’t expect her to take a present of money from him), he
returned to the question over which they had had their little scene the
night they dined together—on this occasion (he had brought a portmanteau
and he was staying) she mentioned that there was something very
particular she had it on her conscience to tell him before letting him
commit himself. There dawned in her face as she approached the subject a
light of warning that frightened him; it was charged with something so
strange that for an instant he held his breath. This flash of ugly
possibilities passed however, and it was with the gesture of taking still
tenderer possession of her, checked indeed by the grave, important way
she held up a finger, that he answered: “Tell me everything—tell me!”
“You must know what I am—who I am; you must know especially what I’m not!
There’s a name for it, a hideous, cruel name. It’s not my fault! Others
have known, I’ve had to speak of it—it has made a great difference in my
life. Surely you must have guessed!” she went on, with the thinnest
quaver of irony, letting him now take her hand, which felt as cold as her
hard duty. “Don’t you see I’ve no belongings, no relations, no friends,
nothing at all, in all the world, of my own? I was only a poor girl.”
“A poor girl?” Baron was mystified, touched, distressed, piecing dimly
together what she meant, but feeling, in a great surge of pity, that it
was only something more to love her for.
“My mother—my poor mother,” said Mrs. Ryves.
She paused with this, and through gathering tears her eyes met his as if
to plead with him to understand. He understood, and drew her closer, but
she kept herself free still, to continue: “She was a poor girl—she was
only a governess; she was alone, she thought he loved her. He did—I
think it was the only happiness she ever knew. But she died of it.”
“Oh, I’m so glad you tell me—it’s so grand of you!” Baron murmured.
“Then—your father?” He hesitated, as if with his hands on old wounds.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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