Some eminent Victorians: Personal recollections in the world of art and lettersCarr, J. Comyns (Joseph Comyns)
General
Some eminent Victorians: Personal recollections in the world of art and letters
Carr, J. Comyns (Joseph Comyns)
Art, Victorian; English literature -- 19th century; Great Britain -- Intellectual life -- 19th century
One day I waited outside a great bank, one of a seething crowd of many
hundreds, in momentary expectation that the doors would be closed, but
the minutes and the hours passed, and as four o’clock approached it
became known that the danger had been averted. Many similar scenes were
to be witnessed at that time, but, although they provided me with
excitement enough and to spare, even these vivid incidents in the career
into which I had been thrust did not induce me to swerve from the
resolution I had already secretly formed, not to remain in the City when
the days of my apprenticeship were concluded.
I think, however, that, notwithstanding the distaste I had for my work,
I performed my task zealously enough. So, indeed, it must have been, for
when I finally announced to the firm my intention to retire, one of the
partners asked me to reconsider my decision, holding out to me the
inducement that if I would remain till I was twenty-one there would be a
good prospect of my being promoted to a junior partnership.
But my choice had already been made, and I was in no mind to change it.
Still secretly nursing the thought of a literary career, it was,
nevertheless, clear to me that, for the time at any rate, I must adopt
a more definite occupation. I therefore made up my mind to study for the
Bar. My only trouble was to know how to announce this decision to my
dear father, who had spent his hardly-earned money in giving me this
first and great chance in the world, and to whom I knew the resolution
at which I had arrived would be a source of bitter disappointment and
regret.
And so, indeed, it was! But he was the widest-minded and the most
liberal-hearted of men, and, when at last I found the courage to break
it to him, he hardly allowed me to perceive the deep disappointment
which I knew he was suffering. For my own part I have never regretted
those days passed in the City, though at the time I felt them to be
barren and wasted. Perhaps I learned as much as I should have acquired
at Cambridge, though it was learning of a different sort. Some knowledge
of men I certainly gained, some knowledge also of the habit of work
which no career, however detached from business, can afford to dispense
with.
Certainly, if there had not been some such obstacle in my path, I should
not have thrown myself into the life I had chosen with the same keenness
and persistence. The opposition which these earlier years set in the way
of the calling I most wanted to pursue nerved and stiffened my
resolution. I did a prodigious amount of reading in those late nights
after the strenuous days in the City, and I think the fact that I had
broken away from the life that was laid out for me gave me a higher
courage to try and succeed in the life of my own choosing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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