Something about Eve: A comedy of fig-leavesCabell, James Branch
Science
Something about Eve: A comedy of fig-leaves
Cabell, James Branch
Fantasy fiction; Historical fiction; Middle Ages -- Fiction
The head priestess replied, “Not yet.”
Tenjo said then, “But in three months, and in three months, and in three
more months, the avenger comes forth, and mocks me by being as I am, and
by being foredoomed to do as I have done, inevitably.”
This ceremony being discharged, they all entered the adytum, and then
the three priestesses led Gerald toward the collapsed and shrivelled
idol which was in the adytum. And Gerald whistled.
“—For do you call this,” said Gerald, “a nose?”
“Sir,” replied the priestesses, “we do. As, likewise, do all other
well-conducted persons.”
“Yet, I would call it,” said Gerald, whose naturally fine color was now
perceptibly heightened by Tenjo’s excellent wine, “another member.”
“Such, sir,” they answered him, “is not our custom.”
“Nevertheless,” said Gerald, waggling very gravely his red head,
“nevertheless, it is written in the scriptures of the Protestant
Episcopal church that, even as great ships are turned about in the sea’s
roaring main with a very small helm, even so is every man guided in the
main by a small member—”
They said, “Yet, sir—”
“And this member is not well spoken of by the Apostolic Fathers. This
member has ruined virgins: its conquests are stained with blood: it has
caused the widow to regret: it has deceived the wisest and most elderly
of men. It is, in fine, a member whose blushing hue is wholly proper to
its iniquitous history.”
They replied, “Still, sir—”
“It is an over proud and wild member. Most justly is it written that
every kind of beasts and of birds and of serpents and of things in the
sea is to be tamed, and has been tamed, by human kind; but that this
member can no man tame; for it is an unruly member, seeking ruthlessly
its prey; a rebellious member, prominent in uprisings; a member very
often full of deadly poison.”
They said, “None the less, sir—”
“I deduce that this member here represented is not worshipful. I deduce
that it is not well for you of Lytreia to worship this shrivelled image
of a tongue, for all that you call it a nose.”
“But, sir, while there is much piousness and erudition in what you say,
you must understand that the word ‘nose’ is a word with connotations and
with a reputed correspondence in anatomy—”
“I do not at all understand that saying, and so I cannot quite see your
point of view. I merely know that, in consonance with the words of St.
James the Just, and according to the scriptures of the Protestant
Episcopal church, this member is a tongue. And I admit that this tongue,
which your heathenish upbringing induces you to call a nose, is in a
peculiarly bad way. But the divine word of Fair-haired Hoo, the Helper
and Preserver, the Lord of the Third Truth, has been pledged to help and
to preserve this idol. So we will see what can be done about it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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