When Gervase had taken what refreshment he could, and made himself
presentable, he took his way slowly down the street to see
Madeline;--slowly, though he was a man in love and going to see his
betrothed--almost reluctantly, though he loved her. He knew that the
impression was a false one, yet it was difficult not to feel as if
Madeline had deserted him, and in his present state of mind every
interest except one seemed to have failed. A sense of having been beaten
and humiliated, which was almost physical as well as mental,--a certain
giddiness of mind and brain which affected, he thought, his very powers
of walking as well as thinking, and which was only increased and
aggravated by the familiar aspect of everything round--so unchanged, so
undisturbed, so out of sympathy with his state--possessed him. He seemed
to himself to knock against everything, to stumble over the crossings or
any irregularity in the pavement; and that the few people whom he met in
the morning street turned round after him, either to note his
unsteadiness, or to say, “That’s Burton’s son.” He would have preferred
to walk on past Madeline’s door, to keep moving mechanically, to go on
and on along miles of dull street, where nobody would require him to
speak or to take any notice. And it was with almost a painful sense of
unwillingness that he stopped at Mr Thursley’s door. But it was opened
almost before he could knock by Madeline herself, who must have been
watching for him, and who rushed into his arms before he could draw
breath. “Oh, Gervase, you have come at last!” she cried. “Thank God!”
“Is it anything to thank God for?” he said; “when all the mischief is
done; when nothing can be mended? It is like my feebleness to come too
late.”
“Don’t say so--don’t say so--it is everything to me,” she cried. “Oh,
Gervase, I should have met you when you arrived, but we did not know if
you would come by Queenstown. I have been looking out for you since
break of day. Papa said you could not have heard, and that it was better
not to startle you by any unusual fuss.”
“Was he so simple as to think ill news would not travel?” Gervase said,
with a faint smile. “Tell me, Madeline, where is my father? Perhaps you
know.”
“Nobody knows,” she said, shaking her head; “but there is no reason why
that should be bad news, Gervase. Papa says he quite understands it; he
thinks Mr Burton will come back--after a while. He thinks he wants to
put a little interval between him and all these events. He says he quite
understands his feelings. Gervase----”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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