Alabama -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; War stories
"God grant that I may be in error concerning your disease; and that
threescore years and ten may be alloted you, to embody the airy dreams
you love so well. I repeat, if you wish to prolong your days, give
yourself more rest. I can do you little good; still, if at any time you
fancy that I can aid or relieve you, do not hesitate to send for me. I
shall come to see you as a friend, who reads and loves all that has yet
fallen from your pen. God help and bless you, child!"
As he left the room she locked the door, and walked slowly back to the
low mantelpiece. Resting her arms on the black marble, she laid her
head down upon them, and ambition and death stared face to face, and
held grim parley over the coveted prey.
Taking the probable measure of her remaining days, Edna fearlessly
fronted the future, and pondered the possibility of crowding into two
years the work which she had designed for twenty.
To tell the girl to "rest," was a mockery; the tides of thought ebbed
and flowed as ceaselessly as those of ocean, and work had become a
necessity of her existence. She was far, far beyond the cool, quiet
palms of rest, far out on the burning sands; and the Bahr-Sheitan
rippled and glittered and beckoned, and she panted and pressed on.
One book was finished, but before she had completed it the form and
features of another struggled in her busy brain, and she longed to put
them on paper.
The design of the second book appeared to her partial eyes almost
perfect, and the first seemed insignificant in comparison. Trains of
thought that had charmed her, making her heart throb and her temples
flush; and metaphors that glowed as she wrote them down, ah! how tame
and trite all looked now, in the brighter light of a newer revelation!
The attained, the achieved tarnished in her grasp. All behind was dun;
all beyond clothed with a dazzling glory that lured her on.
Once the fondest hopes of her heart had been to finish the book now in
the publisher's hands; but ere it could be printed, other characters,
other aims, other scenes usurped her attention. If she could only live
long enough to incarnate the new ideal!
Moreover, she knew that memory would spring up and renew its almost
intolerable torture the moment that she gave herself to aimless
reveries; and she felt that her sole hope of peace of mind, her only
rest, was in earnest and unceasing labor. Subtle associations,
merciless as the chains of Bonnivard, bound her to a past which she was
earnestly striving to forget; and she continually paced as far off as
her shackles would permit, sternly refusing to sit down meekly at the
foot of the stake. She worked late at night until her body was
exhausted, because she dreaded to lie awake, tossing helplessly on her
pillow; haunted by precious recollections of days gone by forever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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