(“Old Rat is more of a diplomat than I thought. So far he is strictly
within the truth,” said little Hartopp. “Observe the ethics of it,
Prout.”)
“Oh, you were sporting with them, were you? I must say I do not envy
you your choice of associates. I fancied they might have been engaged in
some of the prurient discourse with which they have been so disgustingly
free of late. I should strongly advise you to direct your steps most
carefully in the future. Pick up those golf-balls.” He passed on.
* * * * *
Next day Richards, who had been a carpenter in the Navy, and to whom odd
jobs were confided, was ordered to take up a dormitory floor; for Mr.
King held that something must have died there.
“We need not neglect all our work for a trumpery incident of this
nature; though I am quite aware that little things please little
minds. Yes, I have decreed the boards to be taken up after lunch under
Richards’s auspices. I have no doubt it will be vastly interesting to
a certain type of so-called intellect; but any boy of my house or
another’s found on the dormitory stairs will _ipso facto_ render himself
liable to three hundred lines.”
The boys did not collect on the stairs, but most of them waited outside
King’s. Richards had been bound to cry the news from the attic window,
and, if possible, to exhibit the corpse.
“’Tis a cat, a dead cat!” Richards’s face showed purple at the window.
He had been in the chamber of death and on his knees for some time.
“Cat be blowed!” cried McTurk. “It’s a dead fag left over from last
term. Three cheers for King’s dead fag!”
They cheered lustily.
“Show it, show it! Let’s have a squint at it!” yelled the juniors. “Give
her to the Bug-hunters.” (This was the Natural History Society). “The
cat looked at the King--and died of it! Hoosh! Yai! Yaow! Maiow! Ftzz!”
were some of the cries that followed.
Again Richards appeared.
“She’ve been”--he checked himself suddenly--“dead a long taime.”
The school roared.
“Well, come on out for a walk,” said Stalky in a well-chosen pause.
“It’s all very disgustin’, and I do hope the Lazar-house won’t do it
again.”
“Do what?” a King’s boy cried furiously.
“Kill a poor innocent cat every time you want to get off washing. It’s
awfully hard to distinguish between you as it is. I prefer the cat, I
must say. She isn’t quite so whiff. What are you goin’ to do, Beetle?”
“_Je vais gloater. Je vais gloater tout le_ blessed afternoon. _Jamais
j’ai gloaté comme je gloaterai aujourd’hui. Nous bunkerons aux_
bunkers.”
And it seemed good to them so to do.
* * * * *
Down in the basement, where the gas flickers and the boots stand in
racks, Richards, amid his blacking-brushes, held forth to Oke of the
Common-room, Gumbly of the dining-halls, and fair Lena of the laundry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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