CAPT. A. You must excuse me, sir, if I tell you, once for all, that on this point I cannot obey you. SIR A. Hark you, Jack! I have heard you for some time with patience; I have been cool--quite cool; but take care; you know I am compliance itself, when I am not thwarted; no one more easily led--when I have my own way; but don't put me in a frenzy. CAPT. A. Sir, I must repeat it; in this I cannot obey you. SIR A. Now, shoot me, if ever I call you Jack again while I live! CAPT. A. Nay, sir, but hear me. SIR A. Sir, I won't hear a word--not a word!--not one word! So, give me your promise by a nod; and I'll tell you what, Jack,--I mean, you dog,--if you don't-- CAPT. A. What, sir, promise to link myself to some mass of ugliness; to-- SIR A. Sir, the lady shall be as ugly as I choose; she shall have a lump on each shoulder; she shall be as crooked as the crescent; her one eye shall roll like the bull's in Cox's mu-se-um; she shall have a skin like a mummy, and the beard of a Jew; she shall be all this, sir! yet I'll make you ogle her all day, and sit up all night to write sonnets on her beauty! CAPT. A. This is reason and moderation, indeed! SIR A. None of your sneering, puppy!--no grinning, jackanapes! CAPT. A. Indeed, sir, I never was in a worse humor for mirth in my life. SIR A. 'Tis false, sir! I know you are laughing in your sleeve; I know you'll grin when I am gone, sir! CAPT. A. Sir, I hope I know my duty better. SIR A. None of your passion, sir! none of your violence, if you please! It won't do with me, I promise you. CAPT. A. Indeed, sir, I never was cooler in my life. SIR A. I know you are in a passion in your heart; I know you are, you hypocritical young dog! But it won't do! CAPT. A. Nay, sir, upon my word-- SIR A. So, you will fly out? Can't you be cool, like me? What good can passion do? Passion is of no service, you impudent, insolent, overbearing reprobate! There, you sneer again! Don't provoke me! But you rely upon the mildness of my temper, you do, you dog! You play upon the meekness of my disposition! Yet take care; the patience of a saint may be overcome at last! But, mark! I give you six hours and a half to consider of this: if you then agree, without any condition, to do everything on earth that I choose, why, I may, in time, forgive you. If not, don't enter the same hemisphere with me; don't dare to breathe the same air, or use the same light, with me; but get an atmosphere and a sun of your own! I'll strip you of your commission; I'll lodge a five-and-threepence in the hands of trustees, and you shall live on the interest! I'll disown you, I'll disinherit you! I'll never call you Jack again! [_Exit_. CAPT. A. Mild, gentle, considerate father! I kiss your hand. ACT III, SCENE I CHARACTERS: Sir Anthony Absolute; Captain Absolute.