Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 03, May 8, 1858
General
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 03, May 8, 1858
New York (N.Y.) -- Politics and government
We led Alderman Blunt into this, and we trust the public will not
censure him, but lash us most unmercifully for such a vile imposture.
Blunt never gave a cent to Paul Julien,—and when we asked him some
time afterwards, to aid Paul, he declined; but Alderman Thomas Christy
gave Paul $80, to relieve himself and father and mother. When we had
our last sad interview with Madame Sontag, just prior to her fatal
departure for Mexico, by way of the Lakes, (in a conversation of three
hours at her room in the Mansion House in Albany) she assured us there
never was such a talented youth as Paul Julien, and that she had
adopted him, and warmly besought us never to desert him, not only as
his private teacher, but as his pecuniary friend, and we most solemnly
promised we would not. After Sontag died in Mexico, Paul became very
poor, and as we were also indigent, we hatched this stratagem to
deceive the public, and create excitement, and fill a concert room for
Paul, and we asked Blunt to sign this sham letter, which he did. We
have ever been disgusted with this wicked imposition, and have suffered
the compunction of a penitent thief, and we now dash the odium from our
conscience, as a midnight spider prowling round our nose. And as it is
the only Barnum and Ullman operation in which we ever were enlisted, we
trust and believe that the public will forgive us.
James Gordon Bennett knew nothing of our imposition, nor did Frederick
Hudson, his Private Secretary, until the present week, when we
disclosed the whole infamous proceeding to Mr. Hudson.
Fun, and Sun, and Shade.
FRANCES FAUVEL GOURAUD, the mnemonic lecturer of 1843, gave gold
pencils and other gilded trinkets to males, and reticules to females.
John Innman was editor of the _Commercial Advertiser_, to whom he gave
a massive gold pencil, and desired to give a reticule to his fair lady,
who was sister of the once famous Clara Fisher, and now Mrs. Maeder.
The day was warm, and the cholera diarrhœa was prevalent, and he loudly
rings the bell, and dashes into the house with all the enthusiasm of a
Frenchman, and screams: “Mrs. Innman: Have you got one _necessaire_?”
She is dumb for seconds, and her lily cheeks are balls of fire, and
indignant phrenzy glares in her eyes, when she proclaims: “I will call
the servant,” and furiously retires. The servant darts in and balls
out: “Come hither sir,” and on he tramps, behind the servant, into
the basement and the yard, where he is politely escorted into the
_necessaire_, when he savagely ejaculates: “The _diable_! You von tam
skamp! Why for you take me in dis vile place? By gar! by dam! What is
dat I smell? What you for eat so much unions in dis country? You one
tam rascal! What for you bring me in dis nasty place”?
_Servant_—“Mrs. Innman directed mo to show you the necessaire.”
_Gouraud_—“_Necessaire!_ Vat!—You call dis _necessaire_? By gar! You
tell one tam lie. A _necessaire_ is full of holes.”
_Servant_—“And is not this _necessaire_ full of holes?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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