_Gouraud_—“Yes—dat we admit for de argument—but they are such tam pig holes, dat de ladies’ perfume would all run out into de street. Why does for you laugh right in my face? Me will break your tam head if you laugh at me. A _necessaire_ has very small holes in my superb French beautiful and sublime and very glorious country. Me did not mean to ask Mrs. Innman for dis kind of _necessaire_. Me mean one little box, or bag, or re-tickle-em, to put her sweet perfume handkerchief, and other pretty little things in. Whew! O, by gar! Me shall sneeze? How me nose do tickle! Git me out of dis one tam yard. Me be sick already. By dam—me are ruined. Ah che—Horatio! Dare—does you not see dat? Did not me say me should sneeze? By dam! How you does smell in dis nasty country. Where is Mrs. Innman? Me must explain to her that me mean de other _necessaire_, and not dis _necessaire_.” _Servant_—“You perhaps had better see Mr. Innman, as it would not be proper to explain such a thing to Mrs. Innman.” _Gouraud_—(Seizing the servant by the throat)—“You are one tam villain, and me tell you me must see Mrs. Innman, for to ask her pardon, or Mr. Innman will give me no more puffs of my astonishing System of Mnemotechny. Me must see Mrs. Innman. Dare—dare is one gold pencil, (it was copper plated) and now let me see Mrs. Innman.” _Servant_—“Well, I will ask her if it be agreeable to see you.” _Gouraud_—“Bury well—bury well—and me will wait domb stairs, until you come with Mrs. Innman.” _Servant_—(returns) “I have explained everything to Mrs. Innman, who says that she hopes you will excuse her from an explanatory interview, and regrets that _necessaire_ has been confounded with something less fragrant, and that she is very sorry she had you escorted into the yard.” _Gouraud_—Seizes both hands of the servant, and dances, and runs him up and down the parlor like fury, and cuts half a dozen pigeons’ wings with his buoyant legs, and sings Marseilles, and darts out of the house, and down the street, as though a creditor was after him; and in the far perspective, with his elastic step and fancy and frantic gesticulation, evinces a wild delight that resembles the ecstacies of Elysium. Our Beloved Brethren of the Press.