Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 21, September 11, 1858
History
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 21, September 11, 1858
New York (N.Y.) -- Politics and government
At the Cable demonstration on the 1st, Aldermanic politeness showed
itself in its true colors by the virtual expulsion of reporters from the
Crystal Palace. Immediately previously to the commencement of the
exercises, Mr. Lowber, a protege of the reformer’s, whose name may be
remembered in connection with a claim against the city, ordered the
removal of the tables and benches allowed to the press. Alderman Thomas
McSpedon, whose name will become famous to the press before the whole of
the documents in the Hall of Records are printed, forthwith directed the
removal of the pressgang, which, like the Joseph Walker, was held by Mr.
Lowber to be a nuisance. This summary proceeding was characteristic of
aldermanic wisdom, by forgetting that while the wide world was
interested in the cable, our astute gentleman imagined that he had it
safely coiled in his breeches pocket. Luckily all the addresses, which
had the sanction of the Common Council, were in print for a few days
before their delivery, and that portion of our municipal greatness has
escaped certain loss. Unfortunately there are two sides to a question as
well as an address, and as the British recipients of the addresses, as
well as the Captain of the Niagara, were not up to the mysteries of the
Tea-Room, their replies are forever lost. We have doubtless lost the
wheat and secured the chaff.
STRANGE, IF TRUE.—We read in the _Herald_ the other day, that, in the
opinion of that oracle, the successful laying of the Trans-atlantic
Cable would change the whole moral aspect of human affairs—the _Herald_
included. Now we must confess we do belong to that class of persons
which believe that physical agency and morals are intimately allied, and
that the great achievement of submerging the cable will produce more or
less a moral effect. Still we are doubtful of the _Herald_. We are
equally doubtful whether the successful laying of two cables and a half
dozen other scientific victories much greater than anything that has yet
transpired, could produce an improvement in the moral character of the
_Herald_. Bennett is too great and too hardened a sinner. Still we have
heard of repentance at the eleventh hour.
A GOOD IDEA.—Our devil suggests that the great Puttyman would do well to
hire Jobson to edit the _Satanic_. This might be beneficial to Puttyman,
but we doubt whether Mr. Jobson would consent to lend his brain in such
a filthy channel. The great French historian can do better.
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THE ALLIGATOR.
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New York, Saturday, September 11, 1858.
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Out with Them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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