Mr. Spenser, a man with purple lips and stiff neck, who seemed to Stern
as though he belonged to a company that offered many benefits, walked
around the house with Stern, clearing his throat a lot and talking
about escrow. Stern listened, with a dignified look on his face, but
did not really hear Mr. Spenser. Escrow was something that other people
knew about, like stocks and bonds. "I don't want to hear about stocks,"
Stern's mother had once said. "It's not for our kind. Not with the way
your father makes a living. There's blood on every dollar." Stern was
sure now that if he stopped everything and took a fourteen-year course
in escrow, he would still be unable to get the hang of it because it
wasn't for his kind. Still, he felt very dignified walking around a
house with a data systems man and talking about escrow. Mrs. Spenser
invited Stern and his wife and child into the kitchen and brought out a
jar of jam.
"Did you make that in this house?" Stern asked.
"Yes," said Mrs. Spenser, a skeletal woman Stern imagined had been worn
down by her husband's dignified but fetishistic lovemaking requests.
"This is quite a house," said Stern.
The price was $27,000. Someone had told Stern always to bid $5,000
under the asking price, and, adding on $1,000 to be nice, he said,
"How about $23,000?" Mr. Spenser muttered something about expediting
the escrow and then said OK. Stern's heart sank. He had been willing
to go to $25,000, and his face got numb, and then he began to tingle
the way he once had after taking a one-penny sharpener from the
five-and-ten and then waiting by the counter, unable to move, to get
his Dutch Rubbing from the store owner. Getting the house as low as he
had, he felt a great tenderness for Mr. Spenser; he wanted to throw
his arms around the stiff-necked man, who probably knew nothing of
Broadway plays with Cyril Ritchard, and say, "You fool. I just got
two thousand dollars from you. How much could you get paid by your
company, which probably gives you plenty of benefits but only meek
Protestant salaries? Don't you know that just because a man says one
price doesn't mean that's all he'll pay? You've got to hold on to those
two thousands, because even though you're a churchgoer you've got a
glandular daughter who'll always be doing things in cars and forcing
you to move to other neighborhoods, pretending you're moving because of
oil burners or escrow."
Mr. Iavone left the piano and said to Stern, "I see we have nice people
on both sides. Would you like to leave some kesh now?"
"I want someone to see the house," said Stern.
"But you've already talked price," said Mr. Iavone. He grabbed his
coat and slammed the top of the piano. "You bring people out, you're
a gentleman with them, you spend the day," he said, "and you wind up
holding the bag. You think they're nice people.... I closed three
million dollars' worth of homes last year."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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