The Devil put it into my head that I would kiss one handsome young girl
before I died, and now was my chance. She never would know it, and I
should carry the remembrance of it with me into the grave, and a rose
perhaps grow out of my dust, as a brier did out of Lord Lovel’s, in
memory of that immortal moment! Would it wake her from her trance?
and would she see me in the flush of my stolen triumph, and hate and
despise me ever after? Or should I carry off my trophy undetected,
and always from that time say to myself, when I looked upon her in
the glory of youth and the splendor of beauty, “My lips have touched
those roses and made their sweetness mine forever”? You think my cheek
was flushed, perhaps, and my eyes were glittering with this midnight
flash of opportunity. On the contrary, I believe I was pale, very pale,
and I know that I trembled. Ah, it is the pale passions that are the
fiercest,——it is the violence of the chill that gives the measure of the
fever! The fighting-boy of our school always turned white when he went
out to a pitched battle with the bully of some neighboring village; but
we knew what his bloodless cheeks meant,——the blood was all in his stout
heart,——he was a slight boy, and there was not enough to redden his face
and fill his heart both at once.
Perhaps it is making a good deal of a slight matter, to tell the internal
conflicts in the heart of a quiet person something more than juvenile
and something less than senile, as to whether he should be guilty of
an impropriety, and if he were, whether he would get caught in his
indiscretion. And yet the memory of the kiss that Margaret of Scotland
gave to Alain Chartier has lasted four hundred years, and put it into the
head of many an ill-favored poet, whether Victoria or Eugénie would do
as much by him, if she happened to pass him when he was asleep. And have
we ever forgotten that the fresh cheek of the young John Milton tingled
under the lips of some high-born Italian beauty, who, I believe, did
not think to leave her card by the side of the slumbering youth, but has
bequeathed the memory of her pretty deed to all coming time? The sound
of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a deal
longer.
There is one disadvantage which the man of philosophical habits of mind
suffers, as compared with the man of action. While he is taking an
enlarged and rational view of the matter before him, he lets his chance
slip through his fingers. Iris woke up, of her own accord, before I had
made up my mind what I was going to do about it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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