Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in WomenEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
"During my college life I associated with many boys who had more
or less regular sexual relations with prostitutes or with girls
who were not virtuous. Their attitude toward the practice was an
immoral one. The ethical aspect of irregular sexual relations
never concerned them. It certainly did not concern me. What I
have learned through my conversations on the subject with my
pupils makes it evident to me that this is the common feeling of
most boys of the adolescent period. I think of two things which
operated strongly to prevent my entering into sexual relations
with girls during this period of my life. One was an esthetic
repugnance to the average prostitute. These are the women most
easily available to the youth whose sexual desires are developed.
I do not remember ever having seen an avowed prostitute who did
not seem repulsive to me. I confess to an inclination to
priggishness. I preferred to associate with people whom I called
'nice people.' It was fortunate for me that I was thrown into the
society of a rather rough crowd of youths, who knocked a great
deal of this snobbishness out of me. But it did act to prevent my
having recourse to prostitution. A second preventive was my
natural timidity in making advances to people. This has been a
trait that I have never completely overcome. In my professional
life this has been some detriment to my advancement. In the
matter of sex relationship it tended to prevent my taking
advantage of association with and even of advances from girls
who, not prostitutes, were nevertheless not virtuous. There were
a number of such in the town and neighborhood in which I lived,
and I undoubtedly could have had sexual relations with them if I
had only been able to overcome my shyness. The desire was not
wanting. I really craved intercourse with them. It was simply a
matter of cowardice. There was one girl whom I knew very well,
with whom I was on friendly terms, who I knew had had sexual
relations with other boys. She showed, at times, a marked
preference for me, and I am sure would have welcomed any advances
that I should have made. A number of times I sought her company
with the intention of suggesting intercourse, but my resolution
always failed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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