Such stories of expectation of punishment are capped by instances of
correction actually inflicted by the child on himself. I believe it is
not uncommon for a child when possessed by a sense of having been
naughty to object to having nice things at table on the ground that
previously on a like occasion he was deprived of them. But the most
curious instance of this moral rigour towards self which I have met with
is the following: A girl of nine had been naughty, and was very sorry
for her misbehaviour. Shortly after she came to her lesson limping, and
remarked that she felt very uncomfortable. Being asked by her governess
what was the matter with her she said: “It was very naughty of me to
disobey you, so I put my right shoe on to my left foot and my left shoe
on to my right foot”.
The facts here briefly illustrated seem to me to show that there is in
the child from the first a rudiment of true law-abidingness. And this is
a force of the greatest consequence to the disciplinarian. It is
something which takes side in the child’s breast with the reasonable
governor and the laws which he or she administers. It secures ready
compliance with a large part of the discipline enforced. When the
impulse urging towards licence has been too strong, and disobedience
ensues, this same instinct comes to the aid of order and good conduct by
inflicting pains which are the beginning of what we call remorse.
By-and-by other forces will assist. The affectionate child will reflect
on the misery his disobedience causes his mother. A boy of four and
three-quarter years must, one supposes, have woke up to this fact when
he remarked to his mother: “Did you choose to be a mother? I think it
must be rather tiresome.” The day when the child first becomes capable
of thus putting himself into his mother’s place and realising, if only
for an instant, the trouble he has brought on her, is an all-important
one in his moral development.
_The Wise Law-giver._
As our illustrations have suggested, and as every thoughtful parent
knows well enough, the problem of moral training in the first years is
full of difficulty. Yet our study surely suggests that it is not so
hopeless a problem as we are sometimes weakly disposed to think. Perhaps
a word or two on this may not inappropriately close this essay.
I will readily concede that the difficulty of inculcating in children a
sweet and cheerful obedience arises partly from their nature. There are
trying children, just as there are trying dogs that howl and make
themselves disagreeable for no discoverable reason but their inherent
‘cussedness’. There are, I doubt not, conscientious painstaking mothers
who have been baffled by having to manage what appears to be the utterly
unmanageable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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