Such Things Are: A Play, in Five ActsInchbald, Mrs.
General
Such Things Are: A Play, in Five Acts
Inchbald, Mrs.
English drama
_Sir Luke._ Who are we to tell our story to?--There does not seem to
be any one fitting in judgement.--
_Has._ Tell it to me, Sir--I will report it.
_Sir Luke._ Why then, Mr. Haswell, as Ghosts sometimes walk--and as
one's conscience is sometimes troublesome--I think Mr. Twineall has
done nothing to merit death, and the charge which his Lordship sent in
against him, we begin to think too severe--but, if there was any false
statement----
_Lord._ It was the fault of my not charging my memory--any error I
have been guilty of, must be laid to the fault of my total want of
memory.
_Has._ And what do you hope from this confession?
_Sir Luke._ To remit the prisoner's punishment of death to something
less, if the Sultan will please to annul the sentence.
_Lord._ Yes--and grant ten or twelve years imprisonment--or the
Gallies for fourteen years--or----
_Sir Luke._ Ay, ay, something in that way.
_Has._ For shame--for shame--Gentlemen!--the extreme rigour you shew
in punishing a dissension from your opinion, or a satire upon your
folly, proves to conviction, what reward you had bestowed upon the
_skilful_ flatterer.
_Twi._ Gentlemen and Ladies, pray why wou'd you wish me requited with
such extreme severity, merely for my humble endeavours to make myself
agreeable?--Lady Tremor, upon my honour I was credibly informed, your
ancestors were Kings of Scotland.
_Lady._ Impossible!--you might as well say that you heard Sir Luke had
distinguished himself at the battle of----
_Twi._ And, I _did_ hear so.
_Lady._ And he _did_ distinguish himself; for he was the only one that
ran away.
_Twi._ Cou'd it happen?
_Lady._ Yes, Sir, it did happen.
_Sir Luke._ And go _you_, Mr. Twineall, into a field of battle, and I
think it is very likely to happen again.
_Lord._ If Mr. Haswell has obtained your pardon, Sir, it is all very
well--but let me advise you to keep your sentiments on politics to
yourself, for the future--as you value that pretty head of yours.
_Twi._ I thank you, Sir--I do value it.
_Enter_ Elvirus.
_Has._ [_Going to him._] Aurelia, in this letter to me, has explained
your story with so much compassion, that, for her sake, I must pity it
too.--With freedom to your father, and yourself, the Sultan restores
his forfeited lands--and might I plead, Sir Luke, for your interest
with Aurelia's friends, this young man's filial love, shou'd be repaid
by conjugal affection.
_Sir Luke._ As for that, Mr. Haswell, you have so much interest at court,
that your taking the young man under your protection----besides, as
Aurelia was sent hither merely to get a husband--I don't see----
_Aur._ True, Sir Luke--and I am afraid my father and mother will begin
to be uneasy that I have not got one yet--and I shou'd be very sorry
to disoblige them.
_Elv._ No--say rather, sorry to make me wretched.--[_Taking her hand._
_Enter_ Zedan.
_Has._ My Indian friend, have you received your freedom?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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