Such Things Are: A Play, in Five ActsInchbald, Mrs.
General
Such Things Are: A Play, in Five Acts
Inchbald, Mrs.
English drama
_Lady._ Pray, Mr. Haswell, is it true that the Sultan cut off the head
of one of his wives the other day because she said "I won't?"
_Sir Luke._ Do, my dear, be silent.
_Lady._ I won't.
_Sir Luke._ O, that the Sultan had you instead of me!
_Lady._ And with my head off, I suppose?
_Sir Luke._ No, my dear; in that state, I shou'd have no objection to
you myself.
_Lady._ [_Aside to Sir Luke._] Now, I'll frighten you ten times
more.--But, Mr. Haswell, I am told there are many persons suspected of
disaffection to the present Sultan, who have been lately, by his
orders, arrested, and sold to slavery, notwithstanding there was no
proof against them produced.
_Has._ Proof!----in a State such as this, the charge is quite
sufficient.
_Sir Luke._ [_In apparent agonies, wishing to turn the discourse._]
Well, my Lord, and how does your Lordship find yourself this
afternoon?--this morning, I mean--Bless my soul! why I begin to be
as forgetful as your Lordship. [_Smiling and fawning._
_Lady._ How I pity the poor creatures!
_Sir Luke._ [_Aside to Lady._] Take care what you say before that tool
of state--look at him, and tremble for your head.
_Lady._ Look at him, and tremble for _yours_--and so, Mr. Haswell, all
this is true?--and some people, of consequence too, I am told, dragged
from their homes, and sent to slavery merely on suspicion?
_Has._ Yet, less do I pity those, than some, whom prisons and dungeons
crammed before, are yet prepared to receive.
_Lord._ Mr. Haswell, such is the Sultan's pleasure.
_Sir Luke._ Will your Lordship take a turn in the garden? it looks
from this door very pleasant;--does not it?
_Lady._ But pray, Mr. Haswell, has not the Sultan sent for you to
attend at his palace this morning?
_Has._ He has, Madam.
_Lady._ There! I heard he had, but Sir Luke said not.--I am told he
thinks himself under the greatest obligations to you.
_Has._ The report has flattered me--but if his highness _shou'd_ think
himself under obligations, I can readily point a way, by which he may
acquit himself of them.
_Lady._ In the mean time, I am sure, you feel for those poor
sufferers.
_Has._ [_With stifled emotion._] Sir Luke, good morning to you--I
call'd upon some trifling business, but I have out-staid my time,
and therefore I'll call again in a couple of hours--Lady Tremor,
good morning--my Lord--Mr. Twineall--[_Bows, and exit._
_Twi._ Sir Luke, your garden _does_ look so divinely beautiful--
_Sir Luke._ Come, my Lord, will you take a turn in it? Come Mr.
Twineall--come my dear--[_taking her hand._] I can't think what
business Mr. Haswell has to speak to me upon--for my part, I am
quite a plain man--and busy myself about no one's affairs, except
my own--but I dare say your Lordship has forgot all we have been
talking about.
_Lord._ If you permit me, Sir Luke, I'll hand the Lady.
_Sir Luke._ Certainly, my Lord, if you please--come, Mr. Twineall, and
I'll conduct you. [_Exeunt._
END OF THE FIRST ACT.
ACT II.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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