SCENE I. _An Apartment at Sir_ Luke Tremor'_s_. _Enter_ Twineall _and_ Meanright. _Twi._ My dear friend, after so long a separation, how glad I am to meet you!--but how devilish unlucky that you shou'd, on the very day of my arrival, be going to set sail for another part of the world! yet before you go, I must beg a favour of you--you know Sir Luke and his family perfectly well, I dare say? _Mean._ I think so--I have been in his house near six years. _Twi._ The very person on earth I wanted!--Sir Luke has power here, I suppose?--a word from him might do a man some service perhaps? [_significantly._ _Mean._ Why, yes; I don't know a man that has more influence at a certain place. _Twin._ And her Ladyship seems a very clever gentlewoman? _Mean._ Very. _Twi._ And I have a notion they think _me_ very clever. _Mean._ I dare say they do. _Twi._ Yes--but I mean _very_ clever. _Mean._ No doubt! _Twi._ But, my dear friend, you must help me to make them think better of me still--and when _my_ fortune is made, I'll make _yours_--for when I once become acquainted with people's dispositions, their little weaknesses, foibles and faults, I can wind, twist, twine, and get into the corner of every one's heart, and lie so snug, they can't know I'm there, till they want to pull me out, and find 'tis impossible. _Mean._ Excellent talent! _Twi._ Is not it? and now, my dear friend, do you inform me of the secret dispositions, and propensities of every one in this family, and of all their connections.--What Lady values herself upon one qualification, and what Lady upon another?--What Gentleman will like to be told of his accomplishments? or what man would rather hear of his wife's, or his daughter's?--or of his horses? or of his dogs?--now, my dear Ned, acquaint me with all this--and within a fortnight I will become the most necessary rascal----not a creature shall know how to exist without me. _Mean._ Why such a man as you ought to have made your fortune in England. _Twi._ No--my father, and my three uncles monopolized all the great men themselves; and wou'd never introduce me where I was likely to become their rival--This--this is the very spot for me to display my genius--But then I must penetrate the people first--and you will kindly save me that trouble.--Come, give me all their characters--all their little propensities--all their whims--in short, all I am to praise--and all I am to avoid praising,--in order to endear myself to them. [_Takes out tablets._] Come--begin with Sir Luke. _Mean._ Sir Luke--values himself more upon personal bravery, than upon any thing else. _Twi._ Thank you, my dear friend--thank you. [_Writes._] Was he ever in the army? _Mean._ Oh yes--besieged a capital fortress, a few years ago--and now, the very name of a battle or a great general tickles his vanity, and he takes all the praises you can lavish upon the subject as compliments to himself.