French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
Modern society--and the Church is one of its pillars--has succeeded so
well in denaturing and weakening the great human forces that Annette,
who bore within her a richer faith than that of a hundred devotees,
imagined she was not religious. For she confounded religion with
prayer-wheels and the ceremonies of an obsolete exoticism, a luxury of
soul for the rich, a snare for the eyes and that consolation for the
heart of the poor which assures the foundations of their poverty and of
society.
Since she had given up her religious observances, she had never felt the
need for them. It did not occur to her that when she had her fiery
transports of conscience, her passionate monologues, she was really
saying mass.
She did not think of giving her son what she had gone without herself.
Perhaps the question would not even have occurred to her if,
paradoxically, Sylvie had not brought it up. Sylvie, who had no more
religion than a Parisian sparrow, would not have considered herself
married without the concurrence of the Church; and it seemed to her
indecent that Annette should not have her son baptised. Annette had not
thought of this. But she had it done so that Sylvie might be the
godmother. Then she thought no more of the matter, and things remained
where they were until Julien's arrival. That Julien had a practical
faith did not give Annette one, but it rendered the faith worthy of
respect in her eyes and brought her attention back to the problem she
had neglected. What was she to do for Marc? Send him to church? Teach
him a religion in which she did not believe? She asked Julien, who was
scandalized; he affirmed emphatically that the child had to be
instructed in the divine truths.
"But if they are not truths for me? Must I tell lies when Marc asks me
questions?"
"No, don't tell lies, but allow him to believe. It's for his good."
"No, it couldn't be for his good for me to be dishonest. And what
authority would I have when he found it out? Wouldn't he have the right
to reproach me for it? He would not believe in me any longer. And how do
I know whether this faith he would learn would not thwart his real
development later?"
Here Julien's brow darkened, and Annette hastened to change the subject.
But what was she to do? She could not, as her Protestant friends
advised, give her son a course in all the religions and leave him to
choose for himself when he was sixteen years old. . . . Annette burst
out laughing at this idea. What a strange conception of religion, as if
it were a subject for an examination!
In the end Annette had done nothing. She walked about with Marc, went
into churches, sat down in a corner, marvelled with him at the
upspringing forest of these lofty trunks of stone, the underwood gleams
that filtered through the stained-glass windows, enjoyed the flight of
the vaults, the distant chanting, the vague accompaniment of the organ.
It was a veritable bath of reverie and self-communion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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