French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
At last she succeeded in surprising and catching a glimpse of the
precious bird: a dull, insignificant man with vague blue eyes who gave
the impression that he was a secret devotee of absinthe. Very vain and
far from sure of himself, utterly mediocre, he was anxious for Annette's
good opinion. He did not love his wife, but he found it convenient to be
pampered by her and assumed languishing, piteous, sad airs in the name
of his health, his unrecognized talents and the envy of his
fellow-writers. Annette pierced him through and through with her clear
eyes. He was cautious with her and moderated the jeremiads for which the
silent irony of his listener was waiting. But Ruth swallowed everything
whole; she was incapable of judging and as proud as Artaban. . . . "Let
her keep her illusions. She needs some one to love, a man to protect.
She has a passionately domestic soul. She would lie down under his
feet. . . ." But sometimes she quarrelled with him bitterly. Once, as
Annette was climbing the stairs, she heard the "poet" bawling and whining.
Ruth was slapping her husband.
Annette no longer had any doubt that the best part of Ruth's money was
spent for José's loafing and absinthe. He played the races also. Ruth
never complained: she struggled to save up enough for him to publish a
volume of his poems. But he was in no hurry to write them. And when, one
day, she went over her accounts she discovered that he had stolen
three-quarters of the money: he had robbed himself!
That day, with her pride utterly broken, she confessed her misery to
Annette. She would not have spoken if it had concerned herself alone.
But for years she had been wearing herself out for him--"for his glory,"
as she said. And he had destroyed it himself!
One confidence leads to another. Annette ended by learning almost all of
Ruth's sufferings. Her health was ruined. She was growing weaker every
day and less able to restrain her thoughts. As death approached her eyes
were opened and she realized the inanity of this man and his lack of
affection. José was hardly ever at home any more. He would steal away,
finding no pleasure in the society of a sick, disappointed wife.
When her last days came, Ruth had no illusions left. She declared,
however, with sincere pride, that she regretted nothing and that she
would do it all over again.
"_That_ has killed me. But I have lived by it."
She did not believe in anything; she expected nothing, either in this
world or in the other. . . .
Annette was alone with her when she lay on her deathbed. A hemorrhage of
the brain had struck her down.
José, who had fled at the approach of death, showed his timorous face a
few moments afterwards. He had a brief moment of feeling. After he had
wept, his first words were, "But what in heaven's name is to become of
me?"
"You'll find someone else to support you," said Annette.
He threw her a spiteful glance. And he let Annette pay the funeral
expenses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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