French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
She walked on. The summer was pouring its splendid waves over the city.
The blue gaze of the sky bathed the tops of the houses. . . . How good
it would have been to be far away from the city in the fields! . . . But
that was more than she could ask for: Annette did not have the means to
leave Paris. No doubt Marc would be able to go off for a few weeks with
his aunt to some beach in Normandy. But Annette would not go; her pride
would not allow her to be a charge on her sister. Besides, ever since
the days when she had seen them with her father, she had felt an
aversion for summer-resorts, with all their bored people, those
flirtations of the idle and the curious. She would stay at home alone.
She did not mind this. She carried within herself the sea and the sky,
the sunsets behind the hills, the milky fogs, the fields stretching out
under the shroud of moonlight, the calm death of the nights. In the
August afternoon, breathing the warm air, amid the uproar of the streets
and the flood of human beings, Annette crossed Paris with the quick,
sure step, the light, rhythmical step of other days, noting everything
as she passed and yet very far away. . . . In the great, dusty street,
shaken by the wheels of the heavy autobusses, she was wandering in her
thought under the vaults of the forest in that Burgundian countryside
where she had spent her happy childhood, and her nostrils caught the
odor of bark and moss. She was walking over the fallen autumn leaves. A
rain-laden wind swept through the stripped branches, brushing her cheek
with its damp wing; a bird's song flowed magically through the silence;
the rain-laden wind passed her. . . . Through these woods the young
Annette passed also with her weeping lover, and there was the hawthorne
hedge, there were the bees about the abandoned house. . . . Joys and
sorrows. . . . So far away! She smiled at her own youthful image to
which suffering was still so new. . . . "Wait, my poor Annette, you are
only at the beginning. . . ."
"Do you regret nothing?"
"Nothing!"
"Neither what you have done nor what you have failed to do?"
"Nothing, deceitful spirit! Were you trying to spy out my regrets? You
will find that your labor is lost! I accept everything, everything I
have had and everything I have not had, my whole lot, wise and foolish.
Everything has been as it should have been, the wise and the foolish.
One makes mistakes: that is life. But it is never quite a mistake to
have loved. Although age is overtaking me, my heart, at least, has no
wrinkles. And although it has suffered, it is happy to have loved." And
her grateful mind turned, with a smile, to those whom she had loved.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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