THE UNSPEAKABLE. "WHAT! LEAVE MY BEAUTIFUL CRETE IN A STATE OF DISORDER? _NEVER!_" _September 24, 1898._] The incorrigible Turk is deprived of his power to misrule in Crete. He is consoled by Germany. * * * * * [Illustration: THE MITYLENE MARCH. (SOLO FOR THE FRENCH HORN.) THE SULTAN. "I DON'T LIKE SOLOS! GIVE ME THE GOOD OLD-FASHIONED EUROPEAN CONCERTO!" _November 13, 1901._] France sends a fleet to Mitylene and compels the Turk to respect the rights of certain French subjects. * * * * * [Illustration: BETWEEN RUSSIA AND THE DEEP SEA. _September 9, 1903._] Trouble again confronts the Turk. Macedonia, weary of his oppression, rises in revolt. Russia keeps an eye upon him. * * * * * [Illustration: THE OPTIMIST. ABDUL HAMID. "WHAT, ALL THE FLEETS COMING HERE? THAT _WILL_ BE FUN! I _DO_ HOPE THEY'LL HAVE FIREWORKS!" _November 22, 1905._] The Powers decide on a Naval Demonstration to compel the Turk to settle the Macedonian difficulty. * * * * * [Illustration: OUT OF BOUNDS. JOHN BULL. "SHOO! SHOO!" _May 9, 1906._] The Turk tries to grab a bit of Egypt, but his bluster is unsuccessful. Under pressure he retires, as usual. * * * * * [Illustration: THE THRONE PERILOUS. _July 29, 1908._] The condition of the Turk is very critical. Internal disorders indicate a serious danger of collapse. * * * * * [Illustration: THE SALT-WATER CURE. SHAH OF PERSIA. "GO ON IN, ABDUL--JUST FOR THE LOOK OF THE THING. YOU CAN ALWAYS COME OUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT." SICK MAN OF EUROPE. "YES, I KNOW. BUT ONE GETS SO WET!" _August 12, 1908._] The Turk makes another specious effort to amend his constitution. * * * * * [Illustration: AT LAST! _November 27, 1912._] The liberation of Macedonia from the tyranny of the Turk is, at last, accomplished. * * * * * [Illustration: ARMAGEDDON: A DIVERSION. TURKEY. "GOOD! IF ONLY ALL THOSE OTHER CHRISTIAN NATIONS GET AT ONE ANOTHER'S THROATS, I MAY HAVE A DOG'S CHANCE YET." _December 4, 1912._] The Turk still has a gleam of hope. * * * * * [Illustration: NO EFFECTS. BALKAN LEAGUER. "IT'S YOUR MONEY WE WANT." TURKEY. "MONEY, DEAR BOY? SEARCH ME!" _March 26, 1913._] The ever impecunious Turk. * * * * * [Illustration: SETTLED. DAME EUROPA. "YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE MOST TROUBLESOME BOY IN THE SCHOOL. NOW GO AND CONSOLIDATE YOURSELF." TURKEY. "PLEASE, MA'AM, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" DAME EUROPA. "IT MEANS GOING INTO THAT CORNER--AND STOPPING THERE!" _April 2, 1913._] The Turk is driven to confine his energies to Asia Minor. * * * * * [Illustration: "DEUTSCHLAND UEBER ALLES." KING OF THE HELLENES. "OUR SUCCESS WAS, AS YOU KNOW, ENTIRELY DUE TO YOU."