British -- France -- Fiction; Diary fiction; Epistolary fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
I am going to be very frank indeed. To a poor girl, with her living to
earn, your offer is so tempting and marvellous that, if you pressed it
immediately and in person, I fear I might be swept off my feet into
acceptance long before I could be sure that love will exist on both
sides. For your own sake, if not for mine, do not put me to such proof.
What would my consent be worth if you won it solely through the powers
of your wealth and birth to dazzle my eyes and confuse my brain?
My month abroad will serve two ends. By correspondence we shall know
one another better; and our first meeting will thereby be made less
embarrassing and formidable--especially to me. Again (and you must
forgive me for saying it), time and absence may reveal to you more of
your own heart and mind. Perhaps you will repent most bitterly of your
letter which I am now answering, and, if so, it will surely be better to
admit that you have been the victim of a passing madness rather than to
fasten life-long unhappiness upon us both.
SUSAN BRIGGS.
I can hardly say I am proud of this production. Quite the contrary.
Both in matter and style, it’s altogether too un-Susanish. Indeed, now
that I’ve tried and failed, I’m beginning to have more respect for the
effusion of the young lady in the short-waisted muslin frock. Perhaps if
I’d taken out the bits about the coach and the casual intercourse her
letter would have been better than mine.
Heaven knows what Susan will make of it! I’m positively nervy every time
I hear her on the stairs.
All the same, I’ve said the best thing to Lord Ruddington, even if I’ve
said it in the worst way. Going to Sainte Véronique bright and early
to-morrow morning is quite a good scheme. If the noble lord comes
hot-foot after us, I can certainly manage him better at Sainte Véronique
than here at the Grange. Besides, I’m half persuaded that the poor
boy’s paroxysm won’t last long. If needs be, we’ll go to Alice’s when
we come back to England.
I think we’ll travel by Dieppe. It means more train-journey on the
other side, but he’s less likely to track us and bother us that way. Of
course, if he did anything of the kind, it would be abominable. But one
never knows where a madman will draw the line.
_Before dinner_.
Susan isn’t happy.
I can see she doesn’t like my draft. But she’s docile, and she’s going
to use it.
I made the poor thing sit beside me at my desk while we went through it
together. At the end she said:
"Thank you, Miss. But I hate to think I’ve caused so much trouble."
"That’s nothing, Susan," I said. "Just tell me plainly if you think
it’ll do."
"It’s beautiful, Miss," said Susan. "Only..."
"Only what?"
"Well, Miss, very likely I’m wrong. But it seems to leave him a way of
backing out again."
I was prepared for this. So I said, severely:
"Susan, what do you mean?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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