Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Villages -- France -- Fiction
Then would come up the memory of a fresh position; the wall slid away in
another direction; I was in my room in Mme. de Saint-Loup's house in the
country; good heavens, it must be ten o'clock, they will have finished
dinner! I must have overslept myself, in the little nap which I always
take when I come in from my walk with Mme. de Saint-Loup, before
dressing for the evening. For many years have now elapsed since the
Combray days, when, coming in from the longest and latest walks, I would
still be in time to see the reflection of the sunset glowing in the
panes of my bedroom window. It is a very different kind of existence
at Tansonville now with Mme. de Saint-Loup, and a different kind of
pleasure that I now derive from taking walks only in the evenings, from
visiting by moonlight the roads on which I used to play, as a child, in
the sunshine; while the bedroom, in which I shall presently fall asleep
instead of dressing for dinner, from afar off I can see it, as we return
from our walk, with its lamp shining through the window, a solitary
beacon in the night.
These shifting and confused gusts of memory never lasted for more than
a few seconds; it often happened that, in my spell of uncertainty as to
where I was, I did not distinguish the successive theories of which that
uncertainty was composed any more than, when we watch a horse running,
we isolate the successive positions of its body as they appear upon
a bioscope. But I had seen first one and then another of the rooms in
which I had slept during my life, and in the end I would revisit them
all in the long course of my waking dream: rooms in winter, where on
going to bed I would at once bury my head in a nest, built up out of the
most diverse materials, the corner of my pillow, the top of my blankets,
a piece of a shawl, the edge of my bed, and a copy of an evening paper,
all of which things I would contrive, with the infinite patience of
birds building their nests, to cement into one whole; rooms where, in
a keen frost, I would feel the satisfaction of being shut in from the
outer world (like the sea-swallow which builds at the end of a dark
tunnel and is kept warm by the surrounding earth), and where, the fire
keeping in all night, I would sleep wrapped up, as it were, in a great
cloak of snug and savoury air, shot with the glow of the logs which
would break out again in flame: in a sort of alcove without walls, a
cave of warmth dug out of the heart of the room itself, a zone of heat
whose boundaries were constantly shifting and altering in temperature
as gusts of air ran across them to strike freshly upon my face, from
the corners of the room, or from parts near the window or far from the
fireplace which had therefore remained cold--or rooms in summer, where
I would delight to feel myself a part of the warm evening, where the
moonlight striking upon the half-opened shutters would throw down to the
foot of my bed its enchanted ladder; where I would fall asleep, as it
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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