French fiction -- Translations into English; Unrequited love -- Fiction
Here I still languish in my prison, Madame, still rash and culpable and
alas! still trusting in that beautiful _star_ of comedy, which, for one
brief instant, deigned to call me her _destiny_ The Star and its
Destiny! what a charming couple to figure in a romance like the poet
Scarron's! And yet, how difficult we should find it to sustain the two
characters now! The heavy vehicles which used to jolt us over the uneven
pavements of Mons, have been superseded by coach, post-chaise and other
new inventions. Where shall we find to-day those wild adventures, that
gay, Bohemian life that united us, poets and actresses, as comrades and
equals? You have betrayed and deserted us, and left us to perish in some
miserable inn, while you share the fortunes of some rich and gallant
lord. Here, in sooth, am I, but lately the brilliant actor, the prince
in disguise, the disinherited son and the banished lover, no better
treated than some provincial rhymer! My countenance disfigured by an
enormous plaster only adds to my discomfiture. The landlord, tempted by
the plausible story poured into his ears by La Rancune, has consented to
hold as security for the settlement of his account the person of the son
of the great Khan of the Crimea, sent here to finish his education and
well known throughout Christian Europe as Brisacier. Had the old
intriguer, La Rancune, left me a few gold pieces, or even a paltry watch
set with false brilliants, I could, doubtless, have won the respect of
my accusers and extricated myself from this unfortunate situation. But
in addition, you have left my wardrobe furnished only with a
puce-coloured smock-coat, a blue and black striped waist-coat and small
clothes in a doubtful state of repair. The suspicions of the landlord
were awakened upon lifting my valise after your departure, and he
insulted me to my face by calling me an imposter, and a _contraband
prince_, I sprang up to stab him, but La Rancune had removed my sword,
fearing lest despair on account of the ungrateful mistress who has
abandoned me, might lead me to thrust it through my heart. This
precaution was needless, O La Rancune! An actor never stabs himself with
the sword that he has worn in many a comedy; nor does he who is himself
the hero of tragedy ape the hero of a romance. I call all my comrades to
witness that such a death could never be represented with dignity upon
the stage. I know that one may plant his sword in the earth and fall
upon it with outstretched arms; but in spite of the cold weather, I have
here a bare floor with no carpet. The window, too, is wide enough and at
sufficient height to aid in putting an end to all despair. But ... but
as I have told you a thousand times, I am an actor with a conscience.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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