French fiction -- Translations into English; Unrequited love -- Fiction
Some of our number held these platonic paradoxes in light esteem, and
athwart our mystic reveries brandished at times the torch of the deities
of the underworld, that names through the darkness for an instant with
its train of sparks. Thus it chanced that on quitting the theatre with
the sense of bitter sadness left by a vanished dream, I turned with
pleasure to a club where a party of us used to sup, and where all
depression yielded to the inexhaustible vivacity of a few brilliant
wits, whose stormy gaiety at times rose to sublimity. Periods of renewal
or decadence always produce such natures, and our discussions often
became so animated that timid ones in the company would glance from the
window to see if the Huns, the Turkomans or the Cossacks were not coming
to put an end to these disputations of sophists and rhetoricians. "Let
us drink, let us love, this is wisdom!" was the code of the younger
members. One of them said to me: "I have noticed for some time that I
always meet you in the same theatre. For which one do you go?" Which!
why, it seemed impossible to go there for another! However, I confessed
the name. "Well," said my friend kindly, "yonder is the happy man who
has just accompanied her home, and who, in accordance with the rules of
our club, will not perhaps seek her again till night is over."
With slight emotion I turned toward the person designated, and perceived
a young man, well dressed, with a pale, restless face, good manners, and
eyes full of gentle melancholy. He flung a gold piece on the card-table
and lost it with indifference. "What is it to me?" said I, "he or
another?" There must be someone, and he seemed worthy of her choice.
"And you?" "I? I chase a phantom, that is all."
On my way out, I passed through the reading-room and glanced carelessly
at a newspaper, to learn, I believe, the state of the stock market. In
the wreck of my fortunes, there chanced to be a large investment in
foreign securities, and it was reported that, although long disowned,
they were about to be acknowledged;--and, indeed, this had just
happened in consequence of a change in the ministry. The bonds were
quoted high, so I was rich again.
A single thought was occasioned by this sudden change of fortune, that
the woman whom I had loved so long, was mine, if I wished. My ideal was
within my grasp, or was it only one more disappointment, a mocking
misprint? No, for the other papers gave the same figures, while the sum
which I had gained rose before me like the golden statue of Moloch.
"What," thought I, "would that young man say, if I were to take his
place by the woman whom he has left alone?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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