IT happened, howsoe'er, both weary grown, Of halves that they so long had called their own; One holyday, with them there chanced to drink The village lawyer (bred in Satan's sink); To him, said one of these, with jeering air, Good mister Oudinet, a strange affair Is in my head: you've doubtless often made Variety of contracts; 'tis your trade: Now, cannot you contrive, by one of these, That men should barter wives, like goods, at ease? Our pastor oft his benefice has changed; Is trucking wives less easily arranged? It cannot be, for well I recollect, That Parson Gregory (whom none suspect) Would always say, or much my mem'ry fails, My flock 's my wife: love equally prevails; He changed; let us, good neighbour do the same; With all my heart, said t'other, that's my aim; But well thou know'st that mine's the fairest face, And, Mister Oudinet, since that's the case, Should he not add, at least, his mule to boot? My mule? rejoined the first, that will not suit; In this world ev'ry thing has got its price: Mine I will change for thine and that 's concise. Wives are not viewed so near; naught will I add; Why, neighbour Stephen, dost thou think me mad, To give my mule to boot?--of mules the king; Not e'en an ass I'd to the bargain bring; Change wife for wife, the barter will be fair; Then each will act with t'other on the square. THE village lawyer now the friends addressed: Said he, Antoinetta is confessed To have superior charms to those of Jane; But still, if I may venture to be plain, Not always is the best what meets the eye, For many beauties in concealment lie, Which I prefer; and these are hid with care; Deceptions, too, are practised by the FAIR; Howe'er, we wish the whole to be disclosed, Too much, 'tis said, they must not be exposed. NOW, neighbours, let us fair arrangement make: A pig in poke you'd neither give nor take; Confront these halves in nature's birth-day suit; To neither, then, will you deceit impute. The project was most thoroughly approved; Like inclination both the husbands moved. ANTOINETTA, said the second spouse, Has neither ill nor scratch her fears to rouse. Jane, cried the first, is ev'ry way complete; No freckles on the skin: as balm she's sweet: Antoinetta is, her spouse replied, Ambrosia ev'ry way: no fault to hide.