IT happened on a day, as Stephen strayed Within a wood, he saw, beneath a shade, And near the stream, asleep, and quite alone, Antoinetta, whom he wished his own. He near her drew, and waked her with surprise; The change ne'er struck her when she ope'd her eyes; The gay gallant advantage quickly took, And, what he wished, soon placed within his hook. 'Tis said, he found her better than at first; Why so? you ask: was she then at the worst? A curious question, truly, you've designed; In Cupid's am'rous code of laws you'll find-- Bread got by stealth, and eat where none can spy, Is better far than what you bake or buy; For proof of this, ask those most learn'd in love Truth we prefer, all other things above; Yet Hymen, and the god of soft desire, How much soe'er their union we admire, Are not designed together bread to bake; In proof, the sleeping scene for instance take. Good cheer was there: each dish was served with taste; The god of love, who often cooks in haste, Most nicely seasoned things to relish well; In this he's thought old Hymen to excel. ANTOINETTA, to his clasp restored, Our neighbour Stephen, who his wife adored, Quite raw, howe'er, in this, exclaimed apart Friend Giles has surely got some secret art, For now my rib displays superior charms, To what she had, before she left my arms. Let's take her back, and play the Norman trick Deny the whole, and by our priv'lege stick. IMMEDIATELY he ev'ry effort tried, To get the bargain fully set aside. Giles, much distressed, exerted all his might, To keep his prize, and prove his conduct right. The cause was carried to the bishop's court; Much noise it made, according to report. At length the parliament would hear the claim, And judge a case of such peculiar fame. THE village lawyer, Oudinet, was brought; From him, who drew the contract, truth was sought; There rests the cause, for 'tis of recent date; While undecided, more we cannot state.