'Never, never.' I positively shrieked the words this time. 'Burkett-Smith put that point very well. His second argument is founded on a single remark of Tom's, or rather--' 'Or rather,' I interrupted, fiercely,' or rather of the wretched miserable--' 'Contemptible,' said my friend. 'Despicable, scoundrelly, impostor who masquerades as Tom in the second half of the book.' 'Exactly,' said he. 'Thank you very much. I have often thought the same myself. The remark to which I refer is that which he makes to the master while he is looking on at the M.C.C. match. In passing, sir, might I ask you whether the Tom Brown of part one would have been on speaking terms with such a master?' I shook my head violently. I was too exhausted to speak. 'You remember the remark? The master commented on the fact that Arthur is a member of the first eleven. I forget Tom's exact words, but the substance of them is this, that, though on his merits Arthur was not worth his place, he thought it would do him such a lot of good being in the team. Do I make myself plain, sir? He--thought--it--would--do-- him--such--a--lot--of--good--being--in--the--team!!!' There was a pause. We sat looking at one another, forming silently with our lips the words that still echoed through the carriage. 'Burkett-Smith,' continued my companion, 'makes a great deal of that remark. His peroration is a very fine piece of composition. "Whether (concludes he) the captain of a school cricket team who could own spontaneously to having been guilty of so horrible, so terrible an act of favouritismical jobbery, who could sit unmoved and see his team being beaten in the most important match of the season (and, indeed, for all that the author tells us it may have been the only match of the season), for no other reason than that he thought a first eleven cap would prove a valuable tonic to an unspeakable personal friend of his, whether, I say, the Tom Brown who acted thus could have been the Tom Brown who headed the revolt of the fags in part one, is a question which, to the present writer, offers no difficulties. I await with confidence the verdict of a free, enlightened, and conscientious public of my fellow-countrymen." Fine piece of writing, that, sir?' 'Very,' I said.