Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
'The Headmaster wants to see you at once, Bradshaw, at the School
House. You others had better find something to do, or you will be
getting into trouble.'
He and Bradshaw left together, while we speculated on the cause of the
summons.
We were not left very long in suspense. In a quarter of an hour
Bradshaw returned, walking painfully, and bearing what, to the expert's
eye, are the unmistakable signs of a 'touching up', which, being
interpreted, is corporal punishment.
'Hullo,' said White, as he appeared, 'what's all this?'
'How many?' enquired the statistically-minded Kendal. 'You'll be
thankful for this when you're a man, Bradshaw.'
'That's what I always say to myself when I'm touched up,' added Kendal.
I said nothing, but it was to me that the wounded one addressed
himself.
'You utter ass,' he said, in tones of concentrated venom.
'Look here, Bradshaw--' I began, protestingly.
'It's all through you--you idiot,' he snarled. 'I got twelve.'
'Twelve isn't so dusty,' said White, critically. 'Most I ever got was
six.'
'But why was it?' asked Kendal. 'That's what we want to know. What have
you been and gone and done?'
'It's about that Euripides paper,' said Bradshaw.
'Ah!' said Kendal.
'Yes, I don't mind telling you about it now. When Mellish had me up
after school today, I'd got my yarn all ready. There wasn't a flaw in
it anywhere as far as I could see. My idea was this. I told him I'd
been to Yorke's room the day before the exam, to ask him if he had any
marks for us. That was all right. Yorke was doing the two Unseen
papers, and it was just the sort of thing a fellow would do to go and
ask him about the marks.'
'Well?'
'Then when I got there he was out, and I looked about for the marks,
and on the table I saw the Euripides paper.'
'By Jove!' said Kendal. We began to understand, and to realize that
here was a master-mind.
'Well, of course, I read it, not knowing what it was, and then, as the
only way of not taking an unfair advantage, I did as badly as I could
in the exam. That was what I told Mellish. Any beak would have
swallowed it.'
'Well, didn't he?'
'Mellish did all right, but the rotter couldn't keep it to himself.
Went and told the Old Man. The Old Man sent for me. He was as decent as
anything at first. That was just his guile. He made me describe exactly
where I had seen the paper, and so on. That was rather risky, of
course, but I put it as vaguely as I could. When I had finished, he
suddenly whipped round, and said, "Bradshaw, why are you telling me all
these lies?" That's the sort of thing that makes you feel rather a
wreck. I was too surprised to say anything.'
'I can guess the rest,' said Kendal. 'But how on earth did he know it
was all lies? Why didn't you stick to your yarn?'
'And, besides,' I put in, 'where do I come in? I don't see what I've
got to do with it.'
Bradshaw eyed me fiercely. 'Why, the whole thing was your fault,' he
said. 'You told me Yorke was setting the paper.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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