Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
On the night before an exam, he would retire to some secret,
solitary place, such as the boot-room, and commence learning these
notes by heart. This, though a formidable task, was not so bad as the
other alternative. The result was that, although in the majority of
cases he would put down for one question an answer that would have been
right for another, yet occasionally, luck being with him, he would hit
the mark. Hence his ten per cent.
Another fruitful source of discomfort is provided by the type of master
who lectures on a subject for half an hour, and then, with a bland
smile, invites, or rather challenges, his form to write a 'good, long
note' on the quintessence of his discourse. For the inexperienced this
is an awful moment. They must write something--but what? For the last
half hour they have been trying to impress the master with the fact
that they belong to the class of people who can always listen best with
their eyes closed. Nor poppy, nor mandragora, nor all the drowsy syrups
of the world can ever medicine them to that sweet sleep that they have
just been enjoying. And now they must write a 'good, long note'. It is
in such extremities that your veteran shows up well. He does not betray
any discomfort. Not he. He rather enjoys the prospect, in fact, of
being permitted to place the master's golden eloquence on paper. So he
takes up his pen with alacrity. No need to think what to write. He
embarks on an essay concerning the master, showing up all his flaws in
a pitiless light, and analysing his thorough worthlessness of
character. On so congenial a subject he can, of course, write reams,
and as the master seldom, if ever, desires to read the 'good, long
note', he acquires a well-earned reputation for attending in school and
being able to express himself readily with his pen. _Vivat
floreatque_.
But all these forms of notes are as nothing compared with the notes
that youths even in this our boasted land of freedom are forced to take
down from dictation. Of the 'good, long note' your French scholar might
well remark: '_C'est terrible_', but justice would compel him to
add, as he thought of the dictation note: '_mais ce n'est pas le
diable_'. For these notes from dictation are, especially on a warm
day, indubitably _le diable_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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