Tales of the Jazz AgeFitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
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Tales of the Jazz Age
Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
“Lady and gent performers of this circus,” announced the ringmaster
jovially, “I am sure we will all agree that a good time has been had
by all. We will now bestow honor where honor is due by bestowing the
prizes. Mrs. Townsend has asked me to bestow the prices. Now, fellow
performers, the first prize is for that lady who has displayed this
evening the most striking, becoming”--at this point the bearded lady
sighed resignedly--“and original costume.” Here the bale of hay
pricked up her ears. “Now I am sure that the decision which has been
agreed upon will be unanimous with all here present. The first prize
goes to Miss Betty Medill, the charming Egyptian snake-charmer.” There
was a burst of applause, chiefly masculine, and Miss Betty Medill,
blushing beautifully through her olive paint, was passed up to receive
her award. With a tender glance the ringmaster handed down to her a
huge bouquet of orchids.
“And now,” he continued, looking round him, “the other prize is for
that man who has the most amusing and original costume. This prize
goes without dispute to a guest in our midst, a gentleman who is
visiting here but whose stay we all hope will be long and merry--in
short, to the noble camel who has entertained us all by his hungry
look and his brilliant dancing throughout the evening.”
He ceased and there was a violent clapping, and yeaing, for it was a
popular choice. The prize, a large box of cigars, was put aside for
the camel, as he was anatomically unable to accept it in person.
“And now,” continued the ringmaster, “we will wind up the cotillion
with the marriage of Mirth to Folly!
“Form for the grand wedding march, the beautiful snake-charmer and the
noble camel in front!”
Betty skipped forward cheerily and wound an olive arm round the
camel’s neck. Behind them formed the procession of little boys, little
girls, country jakes, fat ladies, thin men, sword-swallowers, wild men
of Borneo, and armless wonders, many of them well in their cups, all
of them excited and happy and dazzled by the flow of light and color
round them, and by the familiar faces, strangely unfamiliar under
bizarre wigs and barbaric paint. The voluptuous chords of the wedding
march done in blasphemous syncopation issued in a delirious blend from
the trombones and saxophones--and the march began.
“Aren’t you glad, camel?” demanded Betty sweetly as they stepped off.
“Aren’t you glad we’re going to be married and you’re going to belong
to the nice snake-charmer ever afterward?”
The camel’s front legs pranced, expressing excessive joy.
“Minister! Minister! Where’s the minister?” cried voices out of the
revel. “Who’s going to be the clergyman?”
The head of Jumbo, obese negro, waiter at the Tally-ho Club for many
years, appeared rashly through a half-opened pantry door.
“Oh, Jumbo!”
“Get old Jumbo. He’s the fella!”
“Come on, Jumbo. How ’bout marrying us a couple?”
“Yea!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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