Tales of the Jazz AgeFitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
General
Tales of the Jazz Age
Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
Jumbo was seized by four comedians, stripped of his apron, and
escorted to a raised daïs at the head of the ball. There his collar
was removed and replaced back side forward with ecclesiastical effect.
The parade separated into two lines, leaving an aisle for the bride
and groom.
“Lawdy, man,” roared Jumbo, “Ah got ole Bible ’n’ ev’ythin’, sho
nuff.”
He produced a battered Bible from an interior pocket.
“Yea! Jumbo’s got a Bible!”
“Razor, too, I’ll bet!”
Together the snake-charmer and the camel ascended the cheering aisle
and stopped in front of Jumbo.
“Where’s yo license, camel?”
A man near by prodded Perry.
“Give him a piece of paper. Anything’ll do.”
Perry fumbled confusedly in his pocket, found a folded paper, and
pushed it out through the camel’s mouth. Holding it upside down Jumbo
pretended to scan it earnestly.
“Dis yeah’s a special camel’s license,” he said. “Get you ring ready,
camel.”
Inside the camel Perry turned round and addressed his worse half.
“Gimme a ring, for Heaven’s sake!”
“I ain’t got none,” protested a weary voice.
“You have. I saw it.”
“I ain’t goin’ to take it offen my hand.”
“If you don’t I’ll kill you.”
There was a gasp and Perry felt a huge affair of rhinestone and brass
inserted into his hand.
Again he was nudged from the outside.
“Speak up!”
“I do!” cried Perry quickly.
He heard Betty’s responses given in a debonair tone, and even in this
burlesque the sound thrilled him.
Then he had pushed the rhinestone through a tear in the camel’s coat
and was slipping it on her finger, muttering ancient and historic
words after Jumbo. He didn’t want any one to know about this ever. His
one idea was to slip away without having to disclose his identity, for
Mr. Tate had so far kept his secret well. A dignified young man,
Perry--and this might injure his infant law practice.
“Embrace the bride!”
“Unmask, camel, and kiss her!”
Instinctively his heart beat high as Betty turned to him laughingly
and began to stroke the card-board muzzle. He felt his self-control
giving way, he longed to surround her with his arms and declare his
identity and kiss those lips that smiled only a foot away--when
suddenly the laughter and applause round them died off and a curious
hush fell over the hall. Perry and Betty looked up in surprise. Jumbo
had given vent to a huge “Hello!” in such a startled voice that all
eyes were bent on him.
“Hello!” he said again. He had turned round the camel’s marriage
license, which he had been holding upside down, produced spectacles,
and was studying it agonizingly.
“Why,” he exclaimed, and in the pervading silence his words were heard
plainly by every one in the room, “this yeah’s a sho-nuff marriage
permit.”
“What?”
“Huh?”
“Say it again, Jumbo!”
“Sure you can read?”
Jumbo waved them to silence and Perry’s blood burned to fire in his
veins as he realized the break he had made.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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